My Church Planting Journey

Playing Catch-Up

2009-05-11T08:35:00.002-04:00

Cheese and crackers it's been a long time since I've written anything. Well, I have too much to say this time around, but I will atleast give the basic run-down. Where to start? Ok, family... kids are doing really well. Andrew is enjoying school and apparently is the highest reader in ALL of his reading teacher's classes (11th grade level). He is 12 years old now (Lord, help) and full into the hormonal wash of puberty... we have some fun years ahead of us. Abi is still playing soccer and being, well... Abi. She doesn't really play much while on the field, but I think she enjoys being on the team and part of something. Today she has an audition for a talent show. She is going to be singing "Love Story" by Taylor Swift. She is so funny. She finds the karaoke videos on You Tube and (with headphones on) watches them and sings as loud as she can. BJ is still working at HighPoint church as their administrative assistant. The things she is learnign there are invaluable to our future planting ventures. She recently became part of a study group for women in our church that looks at biblical perspectives on wives (at least that what I've gathered it to be). She seems to enjoy the opportunity, but still is baffled by the fact that people would ask her for advice and help. She's much smarter, wise, and insightful than she gives herself credit. Love that lady!!! For me things are going well. I have officially launched my business, Ethos Creations and have four paying clients already with good prospects for more. Let me know if you have any graphic work that needs to be done!

Church... the Roots Community has officially launched publically. We did so on Easter Sunday (amidst some drama surrounding a possible meeting site). We met in our pastor, Jesse's home for four weeks and yesterday we met for the first time in our new location, the KOA. We have found great favor with the management there and they are allowing us to meet rent-free for the first month, and then for very cheap afterwards. We will also have access on Wednesdays for our youth and Grow Groups. Things are really starting to gain some form of momentum. Last Sunday we had our first baptisms where we baptized a couple who has been a part of out group for the past few months, one of our staff's daughters, and I baptized my little Abi. It was a great day.

I ask that you all continue to pray for our family and our church. We daily seek to understand the role of the Gospel in every aspect of our living, breathing, and doing. Please also pray for BJ and I as we begin to seek God's guidance in venturing towards our own plant. Currently we have no direction or calling to a specific area, and we are asking God to begin revealing that to us.

Ok, well, I need to go be productive, so hopefully I will be able to submit at least two more entries this week.

Peace

Just some pics

2009-03-16T10:30:00.004-04:00

Happy Monday to you all! I am sitting here in Starbucks staring at my computer screen trying to will myself into writing something meaningful and deep... without much luck. It's not that I don't anything to say... I just can't stop it all from swirling around long enough for me to form it into cohesive thoughts. SO I thought I would simply post some pics of my little girl's soccer game. Everybody likes pictures, right?

Not to be outdone by her sister, Andrew deserves mention as well. He is now an official adolescent! Our little boy turned twelve yesterday, and I feel sooooo old. I am proud of him, though. He's about as good a 12-year old as they come, so I can't really complain.

There's so much more for me to write, but I have a lot of design work to get done, so I will leave all of that for later.

Salt and light...

2009-03-06T08:20:00.004-05:00

I am very proud of my two kids, and this week I was reminded even more of that. God has truly blessed BJ and I with two wonderful children that both love and respect us, and who are excellent representations of what we hope for them to be. On Tuesday I was reminded of this when I went to Andrew's school to discuss an opportunity for me to make t-shirts for the NJHS of Boone Middle. After my meeting, I was talking with Mr. Thorpe (an Administrator and one of Andrew's teachers) and one of the secretaries. They both continually sang the praises of Andrew. He has shown them that students CAN have integrity, morals, and respect. I was swelling with pride. Andrew isn't the best of students (academically speaking... like his old man), but he is a great kid... so great that he has had 4 Student of the Month nominations this year. I am so proud to be able to say to teachers and administration that I am Andrew Hendrix's father.

That same day, my little girl warmed my heart as well. Abi started soccer. She was sooooo cute in her little soccer shorts, cleats, and shin guards. I was so proud watching her immediately jump in to a group of kids that she does not know and make an impact. She did so well with the drills, and actually came close to scoring a goal during the little scrimmage. Her big personality stood out like her blonde ponytail as it danced among a sea of brunettes. More than once I heard from other parents about how cute my little girl was. I just smiled and said, "Thank you." When we were riding in the truck on the way home she couldn't stop talking, and I couldn't stop beaming. Her first game is this Saturday and she is in training. Every day after she gets home from school we go jogging around the neighborhood (yes, I can keep up just fine thank you!). She has a long way to go before she get compared with Mia Hamm or Kristine Lilly, but she already has a fan in this old softie.

Thinking about my kids and their impact on other people moved my thoughts to what I have been reading in Scripture. Last week I wrote about the Beatitudes, the "blessed are"'s that Jesus spoke in the 5th chapter of Matthew (vs. 3-12). The following verses (13-16) are usually called the "salt and light" verses. I was taught these verses completely divorced from the preceeding verses, and the main emphasis was on being a good "Christian"; which usually meant "don't drink, don't smoke, don't cuss, don't have sex outside of marriage, don't listen to 'secular' music, read your Bible every day, go to church, etc." Now, I'm not taking issue with these things (at least most of them), but I am taking issue with the teaching of these things as being the objects of intent for Jesus' instruction. These verses immediately follow the beatitudes which should lead us to understand that they are in reference to the beatitudes. In other words, we could read the passages (vs. 3-16) so:

It is good and right for you to be aware of your lack of righteousness and holiness before God. It is good and right for you to mourn this and to mourn the results of this in your life, the world, and in the lives of those around you. It is good and right for you to be gentle with others and to diligently seek the righteousness that you lack. It is good and right for you to be merciful to those who are just as unrighteous and unholy as you, and for you to be pure in your thoughts and actions. You should always pursue peace with these people, even if they are not peaceful towards you.

Why? Because this is what it means to live. This is what it means to be human. Living this way preserves and enhances the life you were given, and the lives of those around you... like salt. Living life any other way is to live in an inhuman way, lacking compassion and mercy. You would cease to be as you were created... kind of like salt that loses its saltiness. What purpose would you then serve, being inhuman? None. Living this way is the example for everyone. It is an obvious way of living that cannot be ignored or missed. It's like a city on a hill, or a lamp. You don't hide a lamp in a box do you? No, otherwise it wouldn't serve the purpose for which it was meant. You put it in the center of the room so it will light the house. Living according to how you were created is supposed to be done in an obvious way, not so you will be praised, but so God can be glorified.

I believe the beatitudes are given to us as the example of how to live, and if we do so we will be living in such a way as to glorify God, and if we do not we will be living in a way that negates our created purpose. Salt without saltiness is an impossibility, just as humanity without compassion and mercy is impossible (sure we are merciless and lack compassion... so can we be considerd fully human in these instances? Something to think about...). Living according to our created intent helps to not only preserve humanity, but to also propel it into the future (by example) and give continual glory to our Father in heaven. Jesus came to restore humanity. It is only through Him that we are able to live according to the "beatitudes." Without Jesus, we are not fully human... like un-salty salt, and a hidden lamp.

Andrew and Abi helped me see what it means to be "salt and light". Their actions (although different both in context and execution) showed me and others that it is possible to be honest, friendly, responsible, compassionate, respectful, cooperative, fun, and conciliatory. Do they always get it right? Of course not! Do they still make me proud and serve as a reminder of how I need to be living? Absolutely!

Blessed are...

2009-02-24T09:24:00.003-05:00

Recently I committed to stop reading books about the Bible, faith, and Christianity. This isn't a wholesale rejection of all things literate, but rather a conviction that I had about my lack of passion for reading the Bible. You see, I was very eager to read what so-and-so has to say about the Bible, grace, atonement, passion, compassion, theology, doctrine, etc.... but I wasn't as eager to read the very thing they were writing about. I felt it necessary to fully grasp the message before I engaged in mental conversations about the message. What I was doing was in effect like reading a book about fishing and then entering a fishing tournament without ever having cast a line or wet a hook. This doesn't mean I have never read the Bible. I have, and do... I just haven't given it proper placement.

So, with that being said, I would like to share part of what I read today. During my reading I encountered the Sermon on the Mount as found in Matthew 5-7. I've read this a number of times, but usually breezed right through the first twelve verses of chapter 5 (The Beatitudes). I chose to read slowly and here's what I found... certain things are expected of us. We are expected to act, behave, think, and react in certain ways. These are not laws, but rather guidelines for living as expected by our Creator... they are the rubric by which we are to evaluate our everyday lives. Here's what I found:

We are to recognize our need of God's help (poor in spirit)
We are to have sorrow for the results of sin (mourn)
We are to be gentle... not weak, but gentle (meek)
We are to be hungry and thirsty for God's righteousness (as a result of being poor in spirit)
We are to show kindness and forgiveness (merciful)
We are to pursue purity... not just sexual, but also of thought, deed, and action (pure in heart)
We are to promote total well-being, shalom (peacemakers)
We are to remain faithful amid opposition and attack (persecuted)

Now, as a believer I do not find these surprising. I was not shocked to read them. I was not blown-away by the discovery of new truths... what I did experience was shame. I placed my life up against these handful of verses and found myself severely lacking (hey check it! I'm poor in spirit!). In my mind I saw where I had not been mournful enough. I have not been gentle with others. I have not fully hungered and thirst for God's righteousness (His provision, yes... righteousness, no). I haven't been merciful. I haven't made pure actions and thoughts a stronghold of priority. I haven't promoted shalom. I haven't fully remained faithful amid persecution.

Please understand that I am not beating myself up publicly to elicit compassion or pity. I am acknowledging that I am fully engaged in the journey of becoming like Christ. I am His follower and place my everything into His hands. I want this message to serve as a reminder to myself, and to others that we can neglect the "simple" things in pursuit of the grand. I pray you all take time to look at these few verses of encouragement and instruction from our Savior.

I'll post more as I navigate through the whole Sermon on the Mount.

Long Time Coming

2009-01-13T09:00:00.009-05:00

My, my, my... over one month has passed since I last wrote. Tsk, tsk! Well, in my defense... I was without Internet at the house, and the time I spent at Starbucks was used exclusively for getting work done. Thanks to the generosity of an anonymous benefactor, we now have Internet at the house once more. I still have a LOT of work to do, but I thought I would take some time to update everyone on how things are going with the church plant.

During the Christmas break, our church decided not to do a major production or any other typical Christmas-y outreach. Instead, we hosted a simple party at the pastor's home for all the friends, associates, and neighbors that we had met so far. It was a fun get-together and we had a good number of new faces and names to learn. There wasn't a program per-se, but we did do some Christmas songs (with a very cool Appalachian vibe) and Jesse gave a very succinct and effective explanation of who we are and why we celebrate Christmas. All in all, the evening was great.

Over the past two months, our group has been meeting in our house on Saturday evenings to eat together and to spend time in prayer. The prayer time was sort of Quaker-ish, and depended completely on the Spirit to "shape" the meetings. I believe God really used this time to work out a few things in our hearts and minds concerning the direction and vision of the Roots Community. That time has come to an end and we are getting ready to "program" a weekly service. It will still be on Saturday evenings and at our house, but we will shape it to resemble a "typical" worship service. Jesse and Doug (our teaching/discipleship pastor) will be teaching through our vision and values, using the book of Acts to do so. I am very excited as we do all of this in preparation to launching our first public services in March. Pray for us as we are currently seeking churches, organizations, and individuals to partner with us in an effort to make public services possible.

Last Saturday (as part of our continuing effort to connect with our community and to live "incarnationally") we hosted a BBQ picnic at the community park of our neighborhood. This was a simple get-together to which we invited the entire subdivision. Fliers were put on every door the Wednesday or Thursday before, and a couple of signs were stuck at the two entrances. We expected to have a few people stop by and get a free hot dog or hamburger... what actually happened was that we created a catalyst event that brought our neighborhood together in a way that has never happened before. People showed up, got some food, hung out, brought their dogs, let their kids play, talked with neighbors they never knew, and stayed ALL DAY!

I don't know how many people showed up, but we had the little community park packed with kids running around, parents talking with each other for the first time, and some serious basketball being played. It was amazing to see how hungry people were for community. Everyone was so thankful. Now, some people may be asking, "did you give them any literature or information about your church?" No. Whatever information was given would have happened in conversation. We weren't about promoting the church. We were simply being the church.

I am so very excited about what God is doing in our little rag-tag group of church planters. He is moving in a way that many of us could not have predicted. Is it going the way we wanted? Not necessarily. Of course, that's not always a bad thing. Many of us are still struggling financially, but we have a bit more peace about it now that we've seen God's provision come through in ways we never imagined. His provision isn't always easy, and it is often painful (to us and to others), but we know it is much better than what our cleverness can create. Keep praying, and keep seeking!

Update...

2008-12-01T11:28:00.003-05:00

I haven't written anything lately, so I wanted to add a little something to keep my "fans" (you know who you are!) satisfied. Right now I am sitting in a cafe in Ocoee, FL while BJ is in an "interview" for an administrative assistant job. I hate this! It's driving me nuts. I woke up this morning with the overwhelming feeling that the next few days are going to dictate our future direction here in Central Florida. We are unemployed, penniless, WAYYYY behind on bills, and close to eviction... how much pressure does that put on a simple interview!? I also have a job interview tomorrow evening to do the web, graphic, and print design for a church in Orlando. I know I can do it, but I am so stinking nervous that I'm afraid I'm gonna bomb the interview. I feel like Lenny with the baby rabbits. I don't want this opportunity to slip by, so I choke it to death! Please pray for us. We need work. We have about $400 in monthly sponsorship which we are very thankful for, but is sadly not enough to even meet our basic needs. I know, I know. I'm whining.

On a posotive note, The Roots Community had another great community collision this weekend. On Black Friday we gathered in the parking lot of our local retail park (at 3 a.m.!) and handed out coffee and donuts to people waiting in line at the stores. We wound up staying until about 8:30 and handed out around 300 + cups of coffee and an innumerable amount of little donuts. We had a great response from people, entered in a few good conversations, and made some really great inroads with the management of the JcPenny. We are currently brainstorming different ways to continue a good relationshp with them. Our next community endeavor is to offer a candelight gathering in our neighborhood for Christmas. More on that as it shapes up.

Overall, things are moving along nicely. Please pray for our employment and financial situation as well as for transformed lives as the result of intentional collisions with our community. We know God is continuing to work in and through us in every situation, good or bad.

One Year Ago...

2008-11-15T21:38:00.003-05:00

One year ago today my life was changed forever...

One year ago today:

I was unjustly fired...

I was treated worse than an enemy...

I encountered pain like never before...

I fully understood betrayal...

I knew what it was like to hate...

I fell into a deep, dark place...

A bitter root was formed...

A hard lesson was taugh...

A new path was set...

A tough journey began...

A family was forever changed...

A vision was seeded...

A passion was ignited...

A new man was formed...

An old way died...

One year ago my life was changed forever...

I was set free.

Lord, it has been so very difficult to bear the burden placed on my shoulders this past year. There were many times when I did not respond well to the situation in which I found myself. There were also times when, through Your grace and power I was able to rise above anger and bitterness to see Your glory and to serve Your Kingdom. As you know, I still struggle every day with what happened to me, how I was treated, and how Your church was torn apart because of the selfish motives of individuals. Nevertheless, I thank You for Your wisdom, grace, mercy, provision, direction, and power. I am Your man, set free to live for You, and not the whims of men. I pray I live well, and give You glory as I seek to do Your bidding. Please continue to guide me with Your hand, and to give me a heart to follow after You.

Reach-out, Reach-in, or Walk with?

2008-11-04T09:29:00.005-05:00

I can’t believe it’s Tuesday and I am just now writing about it, but this past Friday (Oct. 31) the Roots Community had it’s first major “collision” event (a collision event is one designed to allow dissimilar lives to collide in a way that they normally wouldn’t. Sounds violent, but sometimes we have to crash into each other before we will take notice of our neighbors… watch the movie Crash and you may get it). We hosted a Trunk or Treat for the Davenport and Haines City communities. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it is basically a “safe” form of trick-or-treating where people line their cars up, open their trunks or tailgates, decorate them and hand out candy. Some of you may think that this is silly, and normally I would agree accept that this type of event is very needed in this community. Why? Because the majority of neighborhoods in the area of Davenport are either half empty or they are made up of mostly vacation homes, which would mean a lot of disappointed kids. Now, our little rag-tag group consists of about 17 adults with a few children. We couldn’t use all of our vehicles because we needed to run the event so we had to rely on family and friends to come to our neck of the woods and use their cars for our event. I believe we had about 30+ cars. Not a whole lot, but just the right amount. In the end the event was very successful. Jesse, our leader, estimates 1,000+ people showed up (I think it was more like 500+, but…) and we had 60 people express interest in our community (read: church). Here are some pics from the event:

To see all the pics you can go here: http://s130.photobucket.com/albums/p243/kslique/TrunkorTreat08/?albumview=slideshow

So why do we (churches) do these types of events? Why do we offer something to the entire community during this time of year? As I would drive around the area looking for work (please continue praying about that) I saw churches with signs advertising Fall Festivals, Trunk or Treats, and even a Safe House. I wondered what they were trying to accomplish. I could probably guess what their reasoning was since I have been a part of many of these events. Most pastors and church members would say that they are a great “outreach” event. Shoot, that’s the party line I would produce in defense of the amount of time and money needed to do such an event well. The problem I have with that is semantic in nature, but really fleshed-out in practice. The term “outreach” creates an immediate separation. It suggests some form of compartmentalization wherein the church has closed itself off from the rest of society. I once saw it represented as the church creating a fortress to protect its members from the very people to whom they are supposed to be reaching and ministering. Perhaps the term should be changed to “reach-out”, but even then there is a suggestion of leaving one area and entering another… to reach out of our churches in an effort to touch and draw those who are not on the inside. That’s not a bad thing, reaching out, but what happens when the “outreach” event is over? As in our event, most churches will either require personal information for participation or they will ask for personal information to be volunteered (That’s what we did. We asked. We weren’t candy Nazi’s). In just about EVERY church I have been in the cards are used for 1) creating a somewhat realistic event attendance; 2) generating a new spam mail list, and/or 3) populating a warm-lead list for mid-week visitation. Problem? They are usually waved in front of the congregation on the Sunday after the event and then placed on the pastor’s desk and quickly forgotten as the “regular” business of the church takes more and more importance. One month later someone will ask for the cards because they are getting ready to mail out the newsletter and the pastor can’t find them because they got thrown away with all the junk mail that was piled on top of them. A bit cynical I know, but this is how it usually plays out. Outreach events tend to do exactly what their names suggest: reach out of our fortresses into the danger zone to collect and gather as many people as possible for a short amount of exposure and then retreat back inside and hope a few stragglers follow us in. I used to push against this in our staff and leadership meetings. I would use the example of putting a pie in the window to cool. We, as churches, are good at putting the pie in the window and enticing people to come in and have a piece. What we are called to do is take the pie to the people and sit down and eat it with them in their homes. There is a big difference between the two. In church-planting circles this distinction is labeled Attractional vs. Missional.

The Roots Community has taken this distinction and decided to be both attractional as well as missional. Last Friday I believe we took a big step towards accomplishing that goal. We were missional in that we provided a much-needed service to our community (as part of the community), and we were attractional because we did it well, and without manipulative fact-gathering tactics. People were asking about us, who we were, what we were all about, etc. That is the result of attractional, which was the result of being missional (or Incarnational). We didn’t reach into, or reach out of. Rather we co-existed with our neighbors and allowed a few lives to run headlong into one another. Just like in a real collision, some information was exchanged, and follow-up will happen. Perhaps we provided an opportunity for neighbors to finally talk to one another. Perhaps we provided the opportunity for a single mom to let her kids run wild in a safe, controlled environment. Or perhaps we provided a glimpse of the grace and joy of knowing Jesus that someone has been desperately seeking. Either way, our hope and prayer is for transformed lives.

Lord, I pray that you help us to always see our role in Your kingdom as creating opportunities for people to come into contact with the love and grace that You offer. Help us as we pour over the information provided from individuals. Help us to see them as real people with real lives and real problems. Continue to provide for our needs in a miraculous way. We lean on You alone for provision, and know that it will be a catalyst for lives changed.

The Christian-Church Conundrum

2008-10-27T19:25:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I had an interesting thing happen to me. I found myself trying to explain my "situation" to people who were completely unchurched. Now, they understood the idea of me being in ministry and even the idea of me helping start a new church, but I could tell they didn't fully understand the concept of "professional/career Christian" or all the intricacies of church politics that could result in the termination of said professional/career Christian without any provocation or simply on personal proclivities. Let me back up a little bit. A couple of weeks ago I was clicking around on Craig's List when I came across an ad for a guy wanting someone to do some graphic design for cheap. He is a man in Lakeland who is writing a book and needs someone to design his book cover. He doesn't have much to pay, but I don't have much of anything coming in, so I answered the ad. He liked my work and even the quick proof I did for him so he "hired" me for the gig. Yesterday we met at The Pub to sign a contract, pay me a deposit, and just get to know each other. He spent a while telling me his story, the idea behind the book (it's a health "how-to" for 40+ adults), and some ideas for marketing. He then asked me about my family, and his friend (who came along) asked me about ministry. She wondered about whether it was a "career choice" or a calling. I explained that it was definitely a calling, and that anyone who made it a "career choice" would eventually burn out or have a serious moral failure. She looked a bit puzzled, but seemed to accept what I was saying. Further investigation led to the situation of my termination.

Now, I will admit that there is still a great deal of anger and bitterness that I harbor about the whole situation. I am not fully over it, and it does shape my disposition towards most established churches and the systems that create these churches. I battle it daily, and covet your prayers as I do so. Anyway, I did not want to exhibit my anger and bitterness to these people, but I also desired to

be honest and transparent with them. What I found myself doing was having to explain the intricacies of church polity to people who had absolutely no knowledge or understanding of church culture. I might as well have been reading them a technical manual on Cellular Array Processors (I don't know, don't ask). Anyway, in the middle of my "explanation" it occurred to me that the very thing that has taken up 1/3 of my life holds little to no significance or consequence to the world outside of Christian culture (the "real" world as some have called it). I found myself wondering how something could hold such sway over my emotions and destroy families, but not even register on the radar of importance for the rest of society.

This conversation has caused me to seriously ponder what we do inside our churches. I have always found much of what we do under the name of "The Lord's work" to be suspect, but trying to explain the inner workings of church without painting a very, very bad picture became an extremely difficult thing to do. Here we had people who were genuinely good people (read: "nice") who have a pre-conceived notion about churches. Why? Because we have spent so much time making sure the people inside the church are happy and entertained, that we don't really even try to maintain any form of connection or even relevance to the very world to which we are called to minister. I lament that I might have made their picture of churches a bit worse, but hopefully their view of Christ-followers is a little better as is their understanding of what it means to live as God intended. I'm sure it will take a while to fully help them understand the difference between Christians (people who give themselves that moniker) and followers of Christ (people who are called Christians by others because they are diligently trying to live like Jesus Christ did), but I am glad to have the opportunity.

Re-connect...

2008-10-19T12:07:00.007-04:00

Just a short report to keep you all up to speed. This Friday the Hendrix family disconnected and took an overnight camping trip. We went to a state park that was only about 20 minutes from where we live, so it wasn't a big chore to get everything together and head out. This was the first time we had been camping as a family, and the first real camping trip the kids had ever been on. That is a sad statement considering my family used to go camping all the time when I was growing up. I guess we have been so caught up in "doing" ministry over the years that we haven't taken the time to re-connect with God's creation. Anyway, it was really great to get away from everything that has become a distraction to us. I was able to see my kids re-connect with their imaginations; I was able to re-connect with God's beauty; I was able to re-connect with what it means to be a great dad; and I was able to re-connect myself with the truth of God's grace and providence.

Now that we are back home and re-connected to the "regular" life that we have, I now feel ready to re-connect with the purpose and vision that brought us here in the first place. I hope to be able to take more time throughout the week to disconnect a little in an effort to re-connect with what is really important.

Hope you all have a great week!

Disconnect... please!

2008-10-13T08:57:00.002-04:00

I'm still trying to figure out how it takes me so long to make an entry on this. It's not like I have this overwhelming schedule or anything. Well... ok, I did last week. Jesse and I attended Basic Training, a boot camp of sorts put on by the Florida Baptist Convention. It was brutal! 10 hours of sitting in a room listening to people talk at us while we filled in the blanks in our workbooks... EVERY DAY FOR 4 DAYS! It wasn't a good week at my house. BJ was stretched from being a single mom, and I was stretched from the boot camp. By the time the tension in our lives met head on, we didn't have our normal filters or emotional buffers, so we just let each other have it. Don't look at me like that, you know it happens to you. We've made up and are happy with each other again, but it just showed me another area where the enemy likes to sneak past our defenses. Another thing that was made apparent to me was the fact that I need time away. I'm not crying for a vacation. What I mean is time away from my environment where my mind can be free, my eyes can soak in the beauty of God's creation, my hands can hold my wife's hand and play with my kids, and my feet can travel new paths. Not having an office to go to or a separate place for me to "do work" causes my home to lessen it's appeal. I feel like I never leave work (even though I don't have a job) and I am always "on."

So, this week I am going to pursue the opportunities to disconnect. Even if it is for a little while, it will allow my mind to re-orient itself. If you live in Central Florida and know about places to do this, please let me know. I'm gonna stop writing now so I can look for ways to disconnect. You go do the same!

Live, and live well...

2008-10-06T10:55:00.004-04:00

I had a great weekend! Despite ushering me past the 35 year mark, this weekend showed me, once again, how much God loves us and how right it is for us to be here in Davenport. It all started Friday as the majority of our team met at Karen and Warren Brooks’ home to discuss creative planning. Going into the meeting, I knew certain things needed to be addressed before we could effectively discuss creative planning, but I was content to see how things played out… and play out they did. The conversation ultimately led to issues of individual purpose and how to cope with the fact that whatever role we may have played in past churches, we must be willing and able to re-invent ourselves for the sake of the gospel in Four Corners. This is very tough for many people on our team because past experiences allowed for niche-style ministry while church-planting calls for the niches and pigeon-holes to be abandoned. Growth isn’t easy, and personal growth is often a painful process. What made the evening so enjoyable for me was the sense of community that was had in the group. We were very comfortable with each other, even while discussing a very uncomfortable and personal issue. For those of you who intercede for us, please include this issue in your prayer time for The Roots Community.

The next part of the great weekend was Saturday morning. Jesse is the coach of his youngest son’s soccer team, so I took my kids to the game. It was so much fun! There’s nothing like watching 5 year-olds chase a soccer ball around the field, colliding with each other, sitting in the grass, and generally having fun being outside. I was able to take a lot of pictures in my quest to become a bona fide photographer (you can see them all here:

http://s130.photobucket.com/albums/p243/kslique/KobeElisSoccerGame10408/?albumview=grid ).

While I was enjoying the games and just simply being outside on a beautiful day, what struck me was the fact that this was the first time I had truly experienced any sense of community in this “community” we had moved to. People had gathered together in one place for one unified purpose: to watch their kids play soccer. It was very interesting. It made me ponder what our response, as the church, should be to this. There doesn’t seem to be many opportunities for people to connect with each other in our community. We have the Pub, but that’s about it. Even there you are able to disconnect from everyone around you. How can we provide opportunities for the people in our community to actually commune with others? How do we create points of “collision” where people who normally wouldn’t come in contact with each other collide in a good way? This is a question I feel we need to effectively answer with “my” church plant… not theoretically, but realistically and practically. Saturday night was another good night at “church” as we talked about networking. Jesse was very pointed about the fact that this IS our job right now. Despite what we may have done in the past, and what our skills/gifts are, we need to be about the business of making connections with our community (starting to see the trend here?). It was good stuff.

Sunday arrived with blurry-eyed acceptance of my 36 years of existence on this blue ball called Earth. I have officially entered the early stages of middle-agedom. Abi made me a birthday crown which I was instructed to wear all day… sorry, no pics. Birthdays are usually pretty good, but they tend to be quite narcissistic (hence the crown). What made this birthday so great was that I was treated to a surprise party. I’ve never had a surprise party (that I can remember, at least). Jesse and Chuck took me out to the movies and when we got back to the house I was greeted with a large group of people holding masks made from pictures of my face and yelling “Happy Birthday!” It was awesome! What was so great about it, though wasn’t that all these people had come to the house to celebrate my existence, it was that all these people had come together. I stood in my kitchen and just soaked it all in. Our new neighbors were chatting with people from Roots, Andrew was playing video games with his “church friends” and some kids from the neighborhood, and people were simply enjoying each other’s presence. What a great gift!

This weekend I was encouraged and challenged by the fact that my intuition was correct about this community. In order to effectively insert and administer the gospel in the Four Corners region, we must intentionally create points of collision for our lives to intersect with the lives of those in our communities. In the book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, we see God instructing the captive Israelites: 4 “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. 6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. 7 But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” He is telling them to become a part of the community; to live, and live well… to live lives of influence. I believe this is what we are called to do as church planters more than to create another experience for people to choose to attend. The name of our plant is The Roots Community. Here’s what Jesse said about the name: In a community that is so transient and less than 10 years old, many find it difficult to connect and develop any sense of rooted-ness for themselves and their families. The obvious reason most families are moving to this area is for a "better life", but often times that is simply economic in nature. A "better life" without any sense of roots or community is not a better life in any way. As The Roots Community we desire to transform this area with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As we launch a movement of church planting in this area we seek to establish roots in the physical and spiritual sense. Transformation as a result of the gospel should impact our daily lives, thus giving us a "better life"... our ultimate "ROOTS" should be in the kingdom of God...where the Best Life is found.” Isn’t this similar to Jeremiah 29? Is it our job to create just another church experience, or is it to settle where we have been sent, establish roots, and influence the community from the inside out?

Lord, thank You so much for a church family that loves me and my little family. Thank you so much for sending us here… thank you for “exiling” us to a foreign land and foreign experience. Please help us as we learn how to simply live and live well without having to be “professional Christians.”

Much Love

2008-10-03T07:22:00.004-04:00

I know I haven't written in over a week, but sometimes it is difficult to write when you feel like you will be repeating yourself. I don't have any long pontifications or even witty insights for you this week. All I have is an expression of love. I woke up this morning, like most other mornings, wanting to stay in bed. Getting up at 6:30-7:00 is not fun. I made sure Andrew was in the shower and then I rambled around the house trying to wake up. It was during this time that, for whatever reason I was filled with a great sense of love for my new church family. I don't know what triggered it, but I came to a realization that for the first time in a loooong time I actually feel strongly connected to the people in my faith community. Granted, there are only about 25 of us, but we seem to have made a great connection in such a short time. You see, my family was the only one that came up on it's own. The only people we knew were Jesse and Anitra, and honestly, we didn't know them all that well. Now, BJ has actual friends that she feels she can relate to as well as confide in (local ones, that is. She has some great friends out-of-state). That is something I have prayed about for her. I have men I can hang out with and just be a guy (men who understand me and my situation). Andrew has friends that are both older and younger than he, which he loves because it fills the space left by his best friend John, and it offers him the opportunity to be the older one for once. Abi finally has a friend her age that is into EVERYTHING she is (which is a rare find). She lights up like Christmas at the mere sound of Lauren's name. And Coco has a whole new set of toes to sniff and people to rub her fat belly.

About two months ago or more, as part of our staff meeting, Jesse had each of us go off and spend time with God to seek what He wants for our group and our church. The word "Unity" came up on more than one occasion. We talked about this for a while along with a few other things. We all realized that we needed to make sure we maintained a sense of unity, especially since we were combining groups of people into one. To be honest, I don't think we've really done anything as a group about this since that day. Somehow, though God has really allowed my family (at least) to connect with our new friends in a meaningful way. I like to call that "grace." I hope and pray that these relationships would continue to grow and deepen as we entrench ourselves in the mission of reaching Central Florida.

So I just want to thank everybody in The Roots Community for showing us the amount of love, acceptance, and grace that we so desperately needed. It means the world to us. Yes, we still have other needs. We need to be able to pay rent, keep our utilities on, buy food, put gas in our cars, and more. But the love that we have been shown helps us face these things with the knowledge that even in our darkest hour, God loves us and has supplied us with the love and support of good friends and a supportive church family; and even if that is all we can cling to, it is at least a really big knot at the end of the rope. We love you guys so much, please know that; and we love everyone who has helped us walk through this journey so far.

Random Thoughts...

2008-09-26T09:59:00.004-04:00

   They say you should never shop for groceries when you are hungry. It’s probably true that you should never blog when you are depressed. Well, I’m not depressed, but I’m not pooting rainbows either. I should be very happy because BJ and I were finally able to get our family newsletter and support letters printed and mailed out. I also was able to get the PayPal donation button to work (see sidebar). But… I wake up this morning to news that our nation’s finances are even worse than when I went to bed (and I went late… go Beavers!). I’m not normally that concerned about Wall Street because I don’t have money anyway (my Roth is so under-funded that I may have to pay when it comes to retirement), but this news is a real punch in the gut. Why? Because I just mailed and emailed support letters asking people I know and love to commit to sending us money. Our nation is on the brink of bankruptcy and I am asking people for money! I brought this up to my beautiful bride and she told me to pump my brakes (well, not really, but you get the idea). She reinforced the truth of God’s faithfulness to us. If He called us to this, then He will provide. He has made it very obvious to us that we are not supposed to rely solely on a job for our provision (can’t even get an interview). We should trust in our calling and trust that God has already prepared people to give. I’m so thankful God put us together. She’s a perfect fit for me. So, I will breathe a heavy sigh of resignation as I look at an empty bank account (literally) and wait patiently and prayerfully for what is coming next…

   I have been intending to write something much sooner, but we have been quite busy, and by the time I was able to write I was too tired to produce a coherent thought. Last week we attended a church-planting leadership conference called Blossom. Our worship team participated in the patchwork band that led worship for the conference, which was pretty fun, but quite tiring (emotionally as well as physically). Overall the conference was pretty good, but the highlight was Alex McManus. He spoke on the “radical” idea of Christians becoming human again. It was awesome! Everything he touched on was something that has been a part of my internal and external conversations for the past three years. He peeled back the façade of what we consider true Christianity to be. He exposed the church’s disconnect with the real world, and how followers of Christ went from being called “Christians” (little-Christ’s) to calling themselves Christian. I don’t have the time or space to go into all of this, but I will touch on many of the things he presented in the weeks to come. Right now I will say that his “conversation” settled in my heart and mind that my convictions are not just the longings of a disgruntled ex-pastor, but rather they are the longings of a heart that desires to truly re-connect with a world that I had been trained to fortify myself against (oddly enough in an effort to reach them… I know, you figure that one out).
   Yesterday BJ and I were talking about how I have always said that I never felt like I was able or meant to be a senior pastor because I don’t really see myself as a Shepherd/Pastoral type. I’m much too blunt and impatient with whiny Christians. She said I was selling myself short, but I don’t see it that way. I know that I would not work out as a traditional pastor in a traditionally structured church. I am a teacher, but the kind that doesn’t have much patience with forced learning. If you don’t want to hear it or learn about it, then ok, but don’t waste everyone else’s time. Mean, I know. Some people would say that my desire as a teacher should be to teach those “whiny” Christians the error of their thinking and direct them toward appropriate and productive thinking and living. They’re right, and I do desire that. It’s the whole stroking issue that I cannot stand. I would much rather spend my time at the pub helping someone cry in their beer than coddle the hurt feelings of a busy-body housewife who was passed over for the VBS planning committee. What a waste of energy and passion! Don’t get me started! This is why I believe God has me in church planting. I couldn’t come in and take the pastorate of an established, traditionally structured church. I wouldn’t last a month! I have a high-school friend who is doing that right now, and I applaud his faith and perseverance. It seems he is having to fight so many petty and insignificant skirmishes that he is not able to lead his people into the real battle for the restoration of broken lives. They have forgotten what it means to be human and exchanged it for being “Christian.” Jesus came to be human among us so that we may be able to see how it is supposed to be done, not so we would create a new way of living that runs counter-intuitive to the rest of humanity.
   In the end, I am very excited about the prospects laid out before me for connection and ministry with this community. We hope to be able to move forward with some radically different ideas and models of church-planting in an effort to re-gain status and respect within the local culture in an effort to show and teach them the redemptive, restorative power of Jesus Christ. I hope each of you will join us in prayer as we seek God’s guidance and provision. Oh, I am preaching this Sunday at a church in Bartow, FL so remember that during your prayers as well!
   Lord, You are so very gracious and merciful to even include me in Your plans. Thank You so much for the blessings You have bestowed upon my family. We desperately need Your constant hand of provision to under gird our efforts and support our lives physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. You have called us, and we have answered. Please continue to show us the path we must take, and quickly shut the doors of opportunity that we are not supposed to go through. Your word tells us that you hold us and will never let us go, so we trust and rely on that truth. Please touch the hearts of those you have prepared to support us financially. Help them see that You alone provide what they have, and that You alone can sustain it. You have prepared each of us for this time, and this moment, so help us to live according to Your plan. Thank You, thank You, Thank You!

Tired, but happy...

2008-09-16T13:20:00.003-04:00

I woke up today feeling like a truck had hit me. I worked out yesterday and now I’m very stiff and tired. To make matters worse, an old knee problem showed up again making my mobility a bit more cumbersome. Want to hear more whining? Remember the flat tires I’ve been having lately due to faulty valve stems? Well, we finally had our last tire go flat so I had to spend an hour sitting in Tire Kingdom waiting for them to fix their problem. Other than that, my day was pretty good…

Isn’t it funny how no matter what is going on we tend to focus on the negative? I had a really good weekend and a few minor irritants are overshadowing it. Saturday night we had a great time of worship and Jesse really challenged us in the area of evangelism. We had almost 17 people visit our little rag-tag group. Most were from the church whose building we were using, but a few had somehow found out about us (we don’t advertise, yet) and showed up. I think Jesse did a great job of bringing everyone up to speed with who we are and what we are all about. I hope a number of them return, one couple in particular. After church, Jesse met a guy at The Pub whom we had met last week at a birthday party at Jesse’s house. He is new to the area and he and his wife are hungry for relationships. We spent a couple of hours hanging out, getting to know each other, and laughing at the hypnotist that the pub had out that night. A great foundational relationship was created; one that we hope to be able to build upon in an effort to minister to this family. On Sunday we visited a church in the area that a number of our group have been attending. It was pretty good. They meet in a hotel conference center and really do a good job of creating an atmosphere of intimacy and connection. It was a little more “polished” than I like, but that’s just my preference. I like worship to feel more visceral and organic. The “normal” preacher wasn’t there, and I don’t know whom it was who was preaching, but he did a good job. He committed a pet peeve of mine, though… he based a key theological point of his message on a word that only shows up in a particular translation. That’s a big no-no in my book, especially considering the version he used for the verse was more of a paraphrase than a word-for-word translation. There I go again… being negative. Anyway, it was a good weekend.

This week BJ and I are trying to finalize everything to be able to send out our newsletter. We hope those of you who get it will be able and willing to become ministry partners with us. We may have to send it out in waves because it just costs too much to send out over a hundred pieces of mail all at once. Please pray for us as we seek people to become supporters of this ministry. I have presented a proposal for consultation to a local Lutheran church. I may have mentioned it before, but they are interested in having me be a consultant for them as they develop their new contemporary worship service. I hope they accept my proposal because that would be some much-needed money. Speaking of worship, I am helping lead worship at a local church planting conference called Blossom this week, and our church’s band is leading worship for Four Corners Baptist Church on Sunday morning, and a few of our band (me included) are helping comprise a larger band for a worship event in Lakeland. I have been very busy doing this type of thing since moving up here. I enjoy it, and hopefully I will make some really good contacts for future opportunities. Oh, our band is also leading worship on the 28^th for another church, and I will be preaching that morning as well.

Busy, busy, busy. I am very excited about what God is doing here in the Four Corners area. He is preparing the ground for some major growth, and we need to be ready for the work that it will bring. Please continue praying for us as we diligently seek people and groups to partner with us, and for the people whose lives we will connect with the love of Jesus. It’s not about us, but all about Him.

Should Church Be Encouraging?

2008-09-11T16:55:00.006-04:00

It has been way too long since my last entry. It’s funny how busy your life can seem when you don’t have a regular schedule or job. This house is feeling like a cage, but all I seem to do is pace back and forth like a lion wanting to break free and run. Today BJ and I went out to the Florida Mall just to have something to do. It was fun, but we couldn’t spend any money so we walked around and window-shopped. I think one of the hardest parts of this journey is waiting on God. I am not a very patient person, and I need to have a project or something to keep me busy. Recently my projects have been to create a website about our church planting journey (www.hendrixjourney.com) and a companion newsletter. I’ve done a great deal of work on them, but now I am waiting to be able to get some good photographs of the family in order to finish things off. If you wish to receive the newsletter, please let me know. Some of you may be wondering about my fitness endeavors… not so good (he says while sipping on a home-made jamocha shake). It seems not having a schedule messes with me in that area as well. I plan on getting back on the wagon, though so wait a bit before scolding me.

Things have been going well with the Roots Community. We have been discussing the DNA of a successful church plant (see previous post) and how we are going to flesh out each aspect. It has been really good, but also very challenging. Jesse is bringing up things that some people are finding difficult to swallow. Another “problem” (if you can call it that) is that there seems to be a bit of disagreement or misunderstanding on what a “successful” church plant is and how to go about achieving that goal. One of the major “fears” or concerns is that we may be discouraging “outsiders” or the unchurched from visiting or attending because we are using our “church time” to discuss how to “do church” instead of simply “doing church.” I can see the point being made, but I also believe that this assumption is operating under another assumption, namely that unchurched individuals have either an understanding or opinion about what “doing church” should look like. This is a conversation that I have been involved in for some time now with many different people in just as many different styles and faith communities or congregations. In almost all cases people assume that since “church” has been done a certain way for so long that everyone who steps through the doors is going to know what to expect and will be highly irritated if their experience doesn’t match their expectations. What is usually the case is that the people themselves will be highly irritated and therefore they assume their perception is on par with everyone else’s. Now I’m not talking about style of worship. I’m referring to things like staging, order of service, location, time, topic, methods, etc. One thing that really gets me is this idea that you are supposed to leave a church service encouraged. I’m not sure why, but so many people believe we (pastors) are to be encouraging and that the worship should be uplifting, and that everyone should paste on a smile because, after all, Jesus Loves Me! I guess they think this way because secular marketing has so saturated our existence that we assume it is the “holy” way

(that and the fact that Joel Osteen has the biggest church in America). The goal of marketing is to bring you in and then build in a return visit. I’m guessing people believe that if we are all happy and the preacher lifts our spirits then we will leave wanting more and will return next week (possibly with a “tip” in our pocket). I’m not really sure this was Jesus’ method. Yeah, He did miracles, but He also scolded people for only wanting to see a show and not really wanting to hear the Word. The Bible isn’t always encouraging. The gospel is very divisive and foolish to the world. Of course for those who have been regenerated it is the most encouraging and glorious message ever heard. If we focus only on encouraging people then when do we talk about the issue of sin? How encouraging is the wrath of God against the wicked? For me it is very encouraging, but for those mired in sin and death… not so much. So do we “encourage” them to get saved? Is that biblical? Now, I’m not a legalistic fundamentalist, but I don’t deny sin and hell either. There are certain realities of Scripture that cannot be ignored, and cannot be “explained away” without compromising the integrity of all scripture. They must be dealt with and taught, especially sin. Sure we can talk about God’s love for us, and how this love is shown to us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. We can talk about how God is gracious and merciful and that is why Jesus came to be our Lord and Savior… but if we don’t mention sin and hell are we presenting the whole gospel? If someone isn’t convicted of sin then can he/she repent? Is there salvation without repentance? I know I’m treading on broken glass here, but I believe these issues are easily overlooked. We cannot assume that people will simply understand sin intuitively. We must address it, even if it isn’t all that attractive.

Among church planters there has been a discussion about Incarnational (missional) versus Attractional. One group believes the church should stress attractional elements (music, lights, big events, etc.) while the other believes the church should stress the missional or incarnational elements (evangelism, community service, social justice, etc.). Jesse (as well as many others) has been trying to teach that the two are not mutually exclusive; that they can and do co-exist. I agree and would even say that incarnational ministry is in itself attractional. In the end, I guess how you “do” church depends on your soteriology (theology of salvation). If faith is man’s part of the equation (his gift to God) then you had better cast a wide, attractional net and give as many people as possible the opportunity to “respond in faith.” If all of salvation (even faith) is from God, then you had better teach all aspects of the gospel so that those whom God has brought to you will be able to respond in humble contrition and thankful acceptance. Or should we do both? Can we do both?

The DNA of a Plant

2008-08-27T12:15:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I met with Jesse (our pastor) and Doug the teaching pastor-guy at a Dunkin Donuts… don’t worry, I didn’t give in. Seriously, go ahead and ask them. And yes, I did workout this morning. Anyway, we talked about the church planting assessment that Jesse and Anitra had returned from as well as the First Steps conference they attended. Jesse said his eyes had been opened about a lot of things, but one thing that struck me in particular was the conversation about the DNA of the church. Jesse said he was told (and rightly so I might add) that you should start a church with the end game in mind. This is just good coaching and managing from a sports angle, but also in business and other long-range planning efforts. In other words, what is the finished product? What do you expect the church to look like when you are done with it? Now, you may never intend to leave a work, but if you do, what will it look like? How will you leave it? Once you have that picture clear in your mind, then you need to determine the necessary components to make the picture a reality. More specifically, what type of people do you need to have in place to make it happen? (Getting the right people on the bus and all that corporate leadership stuff) Once that is figured out, then you work backwards until you get what some people may call your irreducible ecclesiastical minimum (hey, I paid a lot of money for that so lay off!). To put it plainly, what is the basic minimum necessary for you to begin the church that will eventually become what you envisioned in the end? This is the basic DNA of your church… the building blocks of church life so-to-speak. Well, if you have been following the story of the Roots Community you will know that we’ve kinda worked backwards according to this principle. Jesse assembled a killer team and then we have been trying to collectively move forward without a real end game in mind. Oh well. Doesn’t mean we can’t backtrack a little. Besides, we all know God called us to be a part of this so that means He intended for us to be integral parts of the DNA of Roots Community. Now to what struck me most about this conversation:

While discussing basic elements necessary in the DNA of every church plant, Jesse said he realized we were missing a key element: an evangelist. No, I don’t mean Robert Tilton, Benny Hinn, or any other corrupt or corny televangelist. I mean someone who truly has the gift of evangelism. Someone who cannot help but share the love of Christ with just about everyone they meet; someone who lives with the everyday intention to reach as many people for Jesus as possible. Now I know that many of us cringe at the mere thought of encountering one of these people. We tend to consider them to be annoying, alienating, out-of-touch, and generally a nuisance to regular society and a hindrance to “real” ministry. I agree on some levels, but not on others. What really punched me in the gut was the fact that I used to “score” high on the evangelism meter. No, I never had a charis-mullet (although I’m getting close now) nor did I shout through a bullhorn at people and hand out Chic Tracks. What I did do was make sure I was intentional in my living in such a way as to allow the gospel to invade every aspect of my actions, conversations, and relationships. Most people who knew me (in the church at least) would consider me to be very evangelistic. I regularly taught and encouraged my students to be about the work of evangelism. I was even the evangelism speaker at a youth mission camp. Discipleship and evangelism were the cornerstones of my ministry for 10 years. So what happened? Why is it no longer evident? I know Jesse hasn’t known me for very long and we haven’t spent a lot of time together, but that aspect of my character should have come out enough for him to be able to say, “Yeah, Kevin has the gift of evangelism.” (or something like that) Now I am not upset with Jesse for not noticing me or anything… I am upset with myself for neglecting that to the point that it is not discernable by others. Well, I plan on doing something about that. I won’t force anything, I will just begin praying for God to bring me back to where I was. It is His Spirit alone that draws people and He uses us as tools for accomplishing that so I will place myself in His hands to shape me and mold me to be the man once was and the man God still wants me to be.

Before I take off I have a really great praise to offer up for everybody… we have our first financial supporters! BJ and I are going to be raising support and we have been a bit behind on getting our list and letters together, but we have been building into relationships, and one of the couples we have been friends with for years have decided to join us in God’s work by giving us monthly support. Praise God! The best part… they aren’t rich. They have decided to act generously and sacrificially to help further the work of the Gospel in the Four Corners area of Central Florida. My prayer is that others will see the value of the work that is so desperately needed in this area and God will prompt them to join us as well.

God you are awesome and I cannot believe that you would choose me to serve you in this capacity! Thank you so much for your provision and for your passion for people. Please re-kindle this passion in my heart. Create in me the desire to truly connect people with You. Help me live with such intention that others are drawn to the power, grace, and mercy that You give. You alone give us life and You alone can save us. My prayer is that I would not miss out on the joy of serving and suffering for Your name’s sake.

Treadmills and Deep-fried Twinkies

2008-08-25T14:10:00.004-04:00

It is 12:00 (noon) and I am sitting at the kitchen table feeling pretty good about myself. You see, I decided to start “working out” again this morning. Last week I organized the garage and set up the treadmill and made room for the Total Gym (I know some of you may be snickering at the idea of using a gimmicky machine peddled by Walker Texas Ranger, but when you’re fat like I am, lifting 25-35% of my weight is more substantial than for you skinny people. Besides, it works so shut it!). I realize it took me a week to actually use the equipment, but that is part of my plan. I have to know a week in advance that I am going to start exercising or else I will keep putting it off and never get around to doing it. Setting a day in the future tricks my mind into thinking it is procrastinating when in actuality it is staying on schedule. This is just one of the ways I have to get around the mental landmines created by ADD and laziness (Laugh if you will, but it works). So anyway, I did some exercising and it felt really great. I’ll keep you up to date on my progress and you all can help keep me accountable. If I stop mentioning it, then I have stopped doing it.

After my workout I sat down and read some in Piper’s Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. He wrote about the invincible life of Jesus… about His resurrection. Simply stated, Piper highlighted the fact that Scripture tells us that Jesus’ resurrection was not simply a cool magic trick or a grand finale in His miraculous career; rather it is demonstrating His power over death and assuring for us all the promises of God. In Romans we are told that since we, as followers have “died” with Christ, then just as He resurrected, so shall we be resurrected (6:5). Paul also tells us in Romans that the very same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is the Spirit that offers us life in our mortal (flawed and impermanent) bodies (8:11). I love that Piper highlighted this aspect of the resurrection. What it shows us is the greatest truth of the gospel: without Christ, we are nothing. We are in desperate need of the power of Christ and His Spirit to truly live life. There is a prevailing idea within mainline churches that morality (proper behavior) is equal to redemption. In other words, if you act the part, then you get the part. Our churches have created some sort of unreal notion of what the perfect, biblical Christian looks like and then wrongly enforces an unattainable goal for which everyone must strive. If you have to strive to get something, then you have to strive to keep it. This is why guilt, not joy is the prevailing emotion experienced by the majority of church members and attendees. The bible clearly states that we are powerless in our imperfect and depraved state to attain righteousness on our own. It is by the resurrecting power of the Spirit of Christ that we are even able to consider living according to Jesus’ standard much less actually do it. I thank God every day that I am given the ability to live as His child with the righteousness of Christ to sustain my capacity for righteous living that reflects the glory and joy of Jesus rather than the condemnation and self-righteousness of Christian piety.

As BJ and I are part of a church-planting movement in the Orlando area, we want to be constantly aware of this issue within established churches. We desire to present the biblical notion that Jesus changes our hearts and lives, and not our own self-awareness or self-reliance. Many established churches have fallen prey to the worldly, sinful notion that Jesus helps those who help themselves. This type of self-actualization and self-reliance undermines the teaching that we are totally incapable outside of the power and work of Jesus Christ (John 15:4-5) to help or change our condition. Yes, there are things that we can and must do to change our lifestyles in an effort to de-rail our self-destructiveness; but we cannot sustain these on our own. I can plan to workout every day in an effort to turn the fat train around, but if I continue

to eat like a slob, then I will continue to be a fat guy who works out a lot. The formula is incomplete. Trying to be a good and righteous person without the power of the resurrected Christ is like running on a treadmill while eating a deep-fried Twinkie… it doesn’t work. The power of Christ always precedes the benefits of living in Christ. This morning I also read some in the book of John about a few of the miracles that Jesus performed in His ministry. One miracle that stood out to me was in chapter 5 where Jesus healed the invalid in Jerusalem. There was an invalid man who was beside the pool of Bethesda. Jesus asked the man “don’t you want to be healed?” To the man, this question carried the weight of condemnation that many people who visit our churches feel. You see, the pool was believed to have healing properties whenever an angel disturbed the water, but only to the first person that enters the water. His answer to Jesus was, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” (v. 7) Basically, “yes, of course I want to be healed, but I am not able to do it on my own and nobody will help me.” Jesus told him that he was healed and to get up and go home. Later Jesus caught up with the man, rejoiced in his health and then told him to sin no more. Jesus’ power preceded the ability and benefit of living a life of righteousness. We are called to introduce people to the love and power of Jesus Christ, and to help them begin their journey with Him. We cannot save people, and we cannot change them. That is the work of the Spirit of Christ. I pray that as we progress with the Roots Community and with our future plant that everyone involved would embrace the power of the resurrected Christ as the ONLY means for true transformation, in our lives and in our community.

Lord help me to continually know that You alone appoint us for salvation, and that my job is to be Your tool for bringing people to the knowledge of who You are and who the Son is. Help me to live in the resurrected power of Your Spirit and not in the impotence of my strife and self-righteousness. Help us as a community of believers to offer everyone the grace and mercy You have given us so that we may be able to show them the love and hope that you offer the loveless and the hopeless. I pray for those of us who are still in need of a job, that You would provide in Your time and Your power. I pray for those who will be and have been asked to support us financially. I pray that You would prepare their hearts for sacrificial generosity. And, Lord I pray that we would always live in the awareness that we, too are invalids in need of Your help.

Sigh...

2008-08-21T12:55:00.004-04:00

     Sigh (n.) – a long, deep, audible exhalation expressing sadness, relief, tiredness or a similar feeling. I have been sighing a lot lately. As any of you who have been following this blog may know, I haven’t written anything for almost a month. We have been very busy moving into our new home, but it has also been tough for me to sit down and write for some reason. I guess it is difficult because I have always had a place (Exodus Coffee) to go to read and write and I haven’t found that type of place here, yet. Today I am sitting in a Joe Muggs Coffee Café in the local Books A Million, but it’s just not the same. Oh well. Back to the sighs… I have been sighing a lot lately; sighs of tiredness from moving, sighs of relief from bits of good news and monetary gifts from faithful friends, sighs of sadness from feeling a bit stuck and not sure what God wants us to do, and sighs of exasperation from what seems to be a chronic joblessness. I swear, I feel like I have a disease or something. I have grown to strongly dislike the whole online application process. It’s like I am the proverbial needle in the haystack and employers are looking for hay. It may not be the case, but I feel like anyone who looks at my resume or application simply says, “Pastor? Next!” This exasperation bleeds over into my enthusiasm for the task that God has called us here to do. I know that I am distracted from the call because I am worried about our finances, but I can’t seem to shake it. I am not alone in this as a number of our core leadership are dealing with the same issue. Please, please join us in prayer for God to help us trust Him more, and for Him to do miraculous works in our lives and situations so that we will not be distracted and discouraged by the enemy.
     Things seem to be going well for the Roots Community. We are still working on things like logo, website, preview services and other logistics. We recently had a meeting with Hal Haller, the Reproducing Churches “coach” for our church and he did a good job helping us all with the process of contextualization and seeing our community through a missional lens. A few of us also have been attending meetings with Vision 360 and Reproducing Churches to help with things like vision and values and networking. I am excited, but I also see where we have been given a number of distractions to deal with. I’m not sure if they are from Satan or if they are tests from God. Either way, my discernment senses have been tingling and it makes me nervous. Well, I guess that is enough whining for now.
     Lord, please show us Your providence. We wait on You and desire to see You work in our lives and the lives of others. Continue to give us opportunities to create connections with the community and with people. Give us jobs that would create these connections as well as help us pay our bills. We pray that you would be glorified in all that we do and in all that we say. May we always give You glory and honor and may we treasure You above all things.

Movin' On Up!

2008-07-30T09:13:00.006-04:00

Wow! A lot has happened since my last entry. I apologize for not keeping everything up to date, but my head has been spinning. In fact, today's entry is going to be relatively short because we have a lot of work to do. Ok, so here's the skinny: We finally have a place to live and are moving up on the first. BJ and I prayed for God to show us where to live and He did. It is not the original place we were looking at. I'm not even sure how we came about this place, but it is in the same neighborhood as Jesse (the pastor) and is owned by a very charismatic Caribbean named Emily who is a believer and carries her little white dog around with her. She told me she bought the house to provide funding for building a church in Poinciana and prayed that it would be used to glorify God. She also told me she had a couple from Ohio wanting to move into the house that were willing to pay more than us, but once she heard I was a pastor she told them ”no” and wanted us to move in. We were very excited, but also a bit apprehensive because we still did not have all the money necessary to move in. Last Tuesday I sent a letter out to about 13 different families that I know have always supported BJ and I asking them to consider giving us some support in our move. We received two responses that have been very helpful in getting us moved up, and we are extremely thankful, but we are also a bit perplexed that we haven’t heard anything from the others. I’m not real sure what to make of it, but I will commit it to prayer. I have been doing a lot of praying lately… that’s a good thing. Right now our prayer is that we will be able to get everything packed, moved, and paid for. We also need to find additional jobs once we get up there, so please continue praying for us in these areas.

As far as the church goes… we have a name! The Roots Community. It is a great name reflecting the needs of the culture in Davenport. There are so many people living there whose roots are established elsewhere. Our church will endeavor to create a community for people to be able to create new roots and a new life in Christ. Jesse does a better job of explaining it because it is his vision. I’m sure we will hear it plenty of times so I will be able to better describe it in the future. Also, this Sunday we will be meeting in our new location at Four Corners Baptist. This location will allow our worship team a better opportunity to develop into what God has for the church as well as provide a few more amenities for small groups and fellowship. Things are looking up!

Lord, we beg of You to continue to keep our footing solid. We are desperate for You always and know that without You we are devastated. Thank You so very much for Your providence, grace, and mercy. Shield and protect us from the Enemy as he is hard at work trying to discourage and prevent us from doing the work of the Gospel. We have committed our lives into Your hands and look to You alone for guidance and wisdom. May we always treasure You above all, and may You always be glorified in our delight of You.

Confessions of Myopia (or "How Could I Be So Blind?")

2008-07-23T11:29:00.009-04:00

“God is the wealthiest person in the universe. He not only owns more than anyone else. He owns everyone else and everything everyone else owns. When you create something, it belongs to you. And God created everything – including us.” These were the first words I read this morning in John Piper’s Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. Upon reading them, I immediately became excited because I thought, “Oh boy! I am about to be encouraged that all riches come from God and He is the provider of all my needs if I just wait on Him!” Well, I forgot whom I was reading… Piper. The chapter was actually on the wealth of the compassion and mercy of God. It was all about how God’s wealth does not reside in all He owns, rather it is in who He is. Piper made an interesting statement about how God’s wealth could not be measured by His creation alone because that would mean that His wealth was diminished pre-creation. In other words, God’s wealth would be dependent upon us, His creation. He went on to give example after example of the mercies Jesus exampled while on earth, mercies that were given solely out of compassion and not duty or compulsion. Jesus’ miracles were all compassionate and merciful in nature; none were done as acts of entertainment. You could argue against this with the walking-on-water and coins-in-the-fish’s-mouth type of miracles, as done more out of convenience for Jesus’ sake but look at the results of those miracles. They helped strengthen and solidify faith… faith that is necessary for salvation. Jesus could have simply appeared across the lake or reached in His tunic and pulled out money, or whispered a command to the wind and waves, but He didn’t. He chose to show the power of the Father in Him in order to help feeble and sinful hearts and minds come to believing faith in Him.

While I was reading I became very convicted. I have been so caught up in my situation that I have stopped focusing on the lost. My prayers have been so saturated with pleas for my family and for the families of those ministering along with us that I have neglected prayers for those we were called to minister to. Now there is nothing at all wrong with my prayers for support, providence, and rescue, but my heart and mind have been so captured by these things that I stopped thinking about those outside of my inner circle. I call this condition Spiritual Myopia, and I usually attribute it to sectarian fundamentalist churches that become so nearsighted that they only look inward and not outward. These churches become so caught up in making sure they take care of their “members” that they forget the mission to which all Christians have been called. Now I haven’t forgotten my mission, but I feel like I have put that part of my prayer life on hold. Many of you reading this may say that it is ok to be a bit inwardly focused right now because I am going through some tough times, and that I can re-focus once these issues are taken care of. I rebuke you! (Get thee behind me…) That is not biblical; it is humanist. Our Lord, on the brink of betrayal and calamity did not withdraw and become myopic. No, instead He prayed for us (John 17). He prayed for those who presently knew Him, and for those who would know Him in the future (vs. 20).

Father, I am so ashamed that my focus has drifted from Your mission and purpose. I know that I am not ignoring it, but things have been competing for my affection. My fear and insecurity have caused me to cling to only part of Your character. Please help me to continue to have a vision and compassion for the culture in which you have sent me. Help me to pray for the lost. Help me to pray for them to see the great riches of Your mercy, even as it is demonstrated in my life. You are to be treasured above all things. Without You we are devastated, and it is evil for me to keep that to myself. Thank you so much for Your mercy! I am destroyed without it, and I cling to it every day that I live. I wait in anxious expectation for Your mercy and grace to continually manifest itself my life and I pray that it would flow from there into the lives of others.

Hungry

2008-07-22T10:52:00.001-04:00

   This past Sunday I was leading worship and one of the songs I had chosen for the day was “Hungry (Falling on My Knees)”. If you are not familiar with this song, the lyrics are : Hungry I come to You for I know You satisfy. I am empty, but I know Your love does not run dry. So I wait for You, So I wait for You. I’m falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus You’re all this heart is living for. Broken, I run to You for Your arms are open wide. I am weary, but I know Your touch restores my life. So I wait for You… and so on. The “theme” of the day was Spontaneous Brokenness, and I had chosen this song simply because it spoke of brokenness and humility (plus it’s a great song). As I was leading the song the pertinence of these words really struck home. I began wondering how it was affecting BJ and how I was going to hold it together through the song (I sometimes get weepy when I worship). I made it through the worship time ok, but the song stuck with me for the rest of the day. Later that day, as the leadership team for the Davenport plant (still no name) met, the topic of fasting came up. Now this was brought up a week ago, and it was put forth that we all should consider fasting because it would be a really good thing for all of us to do. A follow-up email suggested a specific day and time for us to do the collective fast. This struck me the wrong way because I never really saw fasting as a collective issue. I mean, it was done collectively in the Bible, but that was usually as a nation in repentance to the Lord or as an edict handed down from a king or prophet to a people to be a response to something. Now, I’m not saying I have a complete theology of fasting or anything… my understanding is very incomplete. I’ve never thought of fasting as a bad thing or as being fruitless, but the few times I had fasted… just left me hungry (physically, not spiritually). Looking back on these times of fasting, they were compulsory fasts and were done either out of a desire to get something (on my part) or to appease someone else’s definition of spirituality or holiness. These situations had caused me to become very guarded about people suggesting a fast. When the topic came back up at the meeting, I guess I felt like we were being corralled into a fasting pen and I wasn’t sure of what was going on or why it was happening… so I opened my mouth.
   I have the tendency to come across as overbearing, negative, and jerk-ish when I offer push-back. I don’t know why, but it always seems like people are taken back by what I have to say when I disagree. I know this about myself, and I try to rein it in, but I ultimately cannot control an individual’s perception. At the meeting I voiced my concerns and misgivings about the fasting issue, and then felt a great discomfort in the room. Great! I did it again. I was reassured by others that it was all good, but I know how I can come across. Anyway, from that moment on I felt as though God was working on my heart to help me better understand the issue of fasting. The words to that song kept coming to mind, “Hungry I come to You, for I know You satisfy…” Later that night Jesse asked me how I express desperation to God. The ways that I offered were good, but somehow seemed hollow to me. They rang in my ears like a clanging symbol, while the “Hungry” lyrics kept becoming clearer and clearer.
   The next day brought everything to a laser-like focus. We were out riding around looking at houses, and had the opportunity to get into one and check it out. The agent who showed it to us was very nice, and through our conversation I found out she was a fellow believer. I began to explain our situation and she seemed very excited about it. The house would be very good for us. It is close to Jesse and Anitra and it is in the same development as one of Andrew’s new friends, Alex. The carpet is all jacked-up and the appliances are old, but that’s minor compared to homelessness. In the end, we would still have to pay out more money than we have just to get into the house, but I felt very confident in the connection we had made with the agent. We left, went to a meeting with Art (our new “employer”) and then went back to the Carbo house to let the kids hang out while BJ and I went looking at other places to live. When we went out to the car to go house hunting we discovered our right front tire was flat. This stunk, but what made it worse was that the same thing had happened about a week ago with the back right tire. The valve stem had come loose from the tire wall and was leaking air. Upon inspection, it was beginning to happen in the other tires as well. Fortunately, the tires were still under warranty and Tire Kingdom would fix it for free. So I called Roadside Assistance (best 2.99 a month I’ve spent) and they arranged for a truck to pick up the Explorer and take it to the tire shop. One hour later the truck finally showed up and I was able to ride to the tire place with the tow-truck guy. Once there I waited… and waited. I guess non-paying customers get shuffled to the bottom of the deck. And hour and a half later I was driving back to pick up BJ and the kids so we could go home. We had not been able to look at any other places to live. We have 9 days until we move! I at first felt like this was Satan’s work, but upon further inspection, I have come to the conclusion that it is a sign from God. Yes, we were frustrated, but why? Because our plan did not work; because we had to wait; because we were inconvenienced… But we were not harmed by it. We did not have to pay a dime to have the car towed or repaired. “So I wait for You. So I wait for You…”
   So we are waiting on God to provide. I will contact the agent and get the ball rolling on the application, but I will also begin to appeal to her spiritual nature in Christ to help us out with deposits and fees. We feel that we need to take the leap and allow God to do what He promises to do: work it out for our good (Romans 8:28). Where does fasting come into play? We are desperate. We are falling on our knees, offering all of ourselves. We are hungry for God’s satisfying glory and power. We know that God will be glorified in our satisfaction of Him, so we place our satisfaction in Him. I am going to fast over this. I don’t know how long, but I actually feel prompted by God to be hungry for Him to provide. We are going to need anywhere from $2000 to $3000 to complete our move. We don’t have it, but we are going to wait on God to provide it. If you feel moved to help us, please respond and let me know. If you feel moved to join us in desperate prayer over this, please respond and let me know. If you want to say “I told you so!”, please keep it to yourself.
   Lord, you know our needs. There is never a time when you do not know what we need. When we pray to You it doesn’t come as a surprise. You lay on our hearts what we need to pray because You have the answer ready for us. Father we are hungry and thirsty for you. We are broken and desperate for your grace, mercy, and providence. You hold sway over all things and all people. Lord we pray for you to work this out for our good, not for our sake, but so that we will glorify You with our satisfaction and pleasure in You and Your providence.

La Muerte No Tiene Aguijon! (Ooo... Spanish!)

2008-07-17T10:39:00.001-04:00

I realize that my last entry was brief (for me), but sometimes it is difficult to put into words all the things floating around in my head. I am terribly excited about the prospects of my and BJ’s new job opportunity, and a bit nervous about the housing issue. We have to move by the end of the month (14 days!!!!!!) and really have no clue as to where we are going to be. Our dilemma is two-fold: money and location. We obviously need to be able to afford wherever we live, but not really knowing the regular cash flow of this new job (it is commission) it is difficult to budget and plan for affordable rent. Location plays a factor in that we really want to be near the current plant work while also being in a location that we may plant ourselves. Problem is, we still don’t know where that will be since we feel called to a unique marketplace-style ministry. It looks for now that renting a house is out of the picture due to the high deposit most houses require. After all is said and done, with first month’s rent, deposit, utilities deposits, and moving costs, we are looking at almost $3000 to move into a house… we don’t have that. Apartments and townhouses don’t require a large deposit and a number of utilities are included. Boring stuff, but it is what’s going on in my head. We are excited, though and feel we have a better picture now.
This morning I read a really good chapter in Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. Piper was writing about Satan. I know! Piper, mister God-centered is writing about Satan? Well, it was more about the glory of Christ in not removing Satan, but allowing Him to remain in the picture. Sounds crazy huh? I mean if it were up to many of us we would want Old Red tossed in the lake of fire right now so we could have an easier life without all the confusion, affliction, and temptation. After all, wouldn’t people stand up and cheer if the enemy was vanquished in such a public and visible way? But would life be easier? After all, isn’t sin a part of our condition? Do we need Satan to tempt us in order for us to fall into sinful thoughts or actions? Now, I’m not one of those tambourine-shaking, banner waving charismaniacs who spend more time trying to find Satan than fulfilling the gospel, but I fully recognize the power and presence of Satan and his angels. So why not obliterate them altogether? Is it because Jesus is restrained from doing so? Not at all! Scripture is filled with examples of Jesus’ power over Satan and his demons. So what is it? Well, most people won’t like this… it is because Jesus is made greater with Satan in the world. Huh? Simply put, we appreciate the light more when it is contrasted with darkness. Oversimplification, I know, but close enough for you to get the gist of it. How about this: Jesus’ beauty and worth shines brighter when people renounce the allure and promises of Satan and take pleasure in the glories of Christ. Beauty shines brighter in the presence of lesser beauty; light seems lighter in the presence of darkness; goodness seems greater in the presence of evil; and truth seems glorious in the presence of falsehood.
I hear a lot of people (even preachers) talk about how they look forward to the day when Satan will be defeated. Hello! He HAS been defeated. Cast out? No. Defeated? Yes. How? Because Jesus took death away from him (Hebrews 2:14). Satan’s main weapons were guilt and condemnation. Jesus took these. Death has lost its sting! (1 Cor. 15:55-56) Without sin and law (Colossians 2) to condemn, accuse, and oppress us, Satan is defeated. Piper says, “He is disarmed. Christ has triumphed over him, not by putting him out of existence, but by letting him live and watch while millions of saints find forgiveness for their sins and turn their backs on Satan because of the greater glory of the grace of Christ.”
Satan is not happy about what we are doing in the Four Corners area. We have essentially begun church without even “trying.” This past Sunday we had more visitors and are already running out of room. What was intended to be a study to unify our core group in vision and purpose has turned into a weekly worship gathering. Who knows what will happen this week. A number of people will be absent, but I feel our numbers will still be up. Not because of our efforts, but because of the work of the Holy Spirit. Satan is working hard to deliver messages of error to the hearts and minds of the saints, and messages of guilt and condemnation to the hearts and minds of those whom God is drawing to Himself. We must be diligent in prayer and in our desire to treasure Christ over all things. Lord help us defend against the enemy’s attacks by surrounding ourselves with truth, Your truth. Keep your vision always before us so we may never falter. Do not let us get distracted by enticing offers and semblances of simplicity and comfort. I pray we all hold fast to the task at hand and not let go in an effort to grasp something “better.” Keep us, Father and protect us from error and falsehood; and continue to draw your people to our midst so that we may show them the love and compassion that You have shown us.

Talking Cucumbers and Killer Cheese Doodles...

2008-07-16T23:13:00.001-04:00

   Ok, so I asked God for clarity and He sends it through a cartoon. I wonder if that’s His way of showing me how simple things really are… “listen to the cartoon, dummy!” Today BJ and I did what we have done most Wednesdays this summer, took our kids to see the free movie playing at the local theater. This has been such a blessing since 1) we have no money, and 2) our kids get very bored and stir crazy. I can’t blame them, since I am the same way. Anyway, today’s movie was Veggie Tales’ “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” Normally I don’t go for the talking veggies because, well… I’m over it. I mean, they were cool and all, but my kids are older and we have just moved on. I won’t go through the story, but the coolest part was the killer cheese doodles… they were hilarious. Where clarity came was when the “king” was telling the pirates that he never promised their journey would be easy, and that they should always trust him because no matter how difficult things seem, he is always watching and always there to help when we really need it… after all, would he send them on a journey he didn’t think they could complete? Stupid cartoon movie… making sense.
   The past few weeks have been pretty crazy and it has been difficult to stay positive about things. I know we are not alone, as everyone involved with the plant has been having trouble with finances, housing, and employment. We all want to charge headlong into what God has for us, but we must contend with the issues of life that are either put there by the enemy to trip us up or that are meant to test our fortitude and commitment to our calling. The past week we have had both, and it seems God has brought us through and we have been able to maintain our focus and make wise decisions that are starting to show fruit. I have been presented with opportunities that may have been good financially (or not) but would have choked my time and ability to do the work of a church planter. It was tough to turn them down and remain faithful to the calling, but it looks as though God is honoring that decision by giving BJ and me a really unique job opportunity. Without going into details, we are going to be working for a ministry based out of Orlando that does live seminar training for parents and children’s ministries. We will basically be booking agents for the ministry and will have the ability to work at home and make our own schedule. Normally I wouldn’t even consider a job like this, but it was just very obvious to BJ and me that this opportunity was given to us at this time specifically for our situation.
     So, for now we are doing well, and the outlook is good. I plan on enjoying it while it lasts because I know every hill has a drop right after you get to the top. It’s late, so I will end for now and hopefully write more tomorrow.

Suffering For Jesus (or "Quit Crying and Get To Work!")

2008-07-11T13:04:00.001-04:00

Ok, well it has been quite a while since my last entry. Our life has been very hectic as we have done way too much traveling. I am so ready to be moved, but it seems God has us here for a while longer… wish I knew why. We have had a lot of good conversations and contacts with other church planters and pastors in the area, so that is good. One in particular has offered to mention my and BJ’s name to a few people who are looking to fill jobs… I pray that something happens there. As I write this we have 20 days to be moved out of the house and moved up to Davenport. This is really scary, as we have absolutely no good leads on employment and housing. The housing would actually be easy if we had jobs. There are a lot of homes available for rent in the area; we just don’t know what we can afford. To make matters worse, I have been icky the past few days. I guess it is because of my fatigue. Whenever I get worn-down physically, my immune system becomes weakened and I am prone to icky-ness. I am also grinding my teeth at night… stress I guess; but it makes my jaws and teeth hurt which ends up amplifying my misery. All this coupled with a growing sense of dread, worry, and a depleting bank account and I am one miserable puppy. I don’t mean to complain and whine, but I am weak and weary and don’t know what else to do right now. I’m not the only one… I guess I can find comfort in that. Jesse has been dealing with a strange allergic rash for the past week. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense because it isn’t poison ivy or oak. It looks kinda like it, but instead of clustering and being localized it is scattered all over his body. He went to a free clinic while I was up there and they gave him some steroids to help the reaction stop, but I know it is baffling and discouraging to him. He too is struggling with financial issues. Jess and Anitra have done fundraising to support themselves during this process, but the money is coming in slowly and sporadically while the bills and expenses are frequent and right on time. All this sounds horrible, and very discouraging… and it is, but we remain somehow optimistic. Yeah, I am anxious and impatient, but I still know that God is sovereign in all of this, and through prayer (desperate prayer!) I have kept a “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
To be honest, through this trouble I feel even more confident that we are doing exactly what God has for us to do. Why? Because we are being afflicted by the enemy. Now I know some of you may be rolling your eyes, but physical and spiritual affliction is a very real and biblical thing. Paul told Timothy, and subsequently us, that we are to expect persecution if we persist in living out a godly life (2 Timothy 3:12). Satan is not happy at all when God’s people actually rise up and adopt a missional lifestyle. To be missional means to be “on mission” with Christ, to be a part of the missio dei (Mission of God). This sounds like a basic concept, but one that many churches have simply fallen away from by assuming that they are not missionaries themselves, but they are supporters of professional missionaries through giving and education. Now, I’m not saying I don’t want support from churches, but I don’t see myself as a professional missionary, just as a missionary like we all are called to be. Anyway, back to the affliction. It seems very apparent to me that Satan attacks those who are dangerously close to making true impact for the Kingdom of God. I heard a message from Louie Giglio about worship (one of many he has done) and in it he references the concept of a war being waged for our worship. He mentioned Job (of course) and how, like him, we are also placed in situations that compete for our worship. Sounds silly and a bit alarmist, but I can see this playing out in our lives. As I have begun this journey, I have grown in my affection for Christ and for others. I have begun to have clarity about the lost and the culture of the lost. Satan left me alone previously because I was content to wallow in pride, bitterness, and self-righteousness. I wasn’t worshipping God I was worshipping my misery. Now that I have turned my affections back towards Christ I have awakened (so to speak) the sleeping giant who is bent on the destruction of God’s Kingdom here on earth. It is very easy for me to ignore the goodness of God in the face of adversity. Now I am not saying that everything I am having trouble with right now is from Satan. I truly believe God is delaying his providence in an effort to grow and teach me. It is in this situation, though that Satan works his deceit. He speaks untruth to me, and creates a weariness and crankiness that spills over into my relationships. He has begun to speak into the minds of others involved in the church in an effort to drive a wedge between us and disrupt the work of the Kingdom. He is dangling carrots in front of us to distract us from the task at hand. We can easily be distracted because Satan knows the deep desires and longings of our flesh, and he can have them masquerade as goodness. These are the sufferings that we are enduring and we are enduring them in an effort to share in the sufferings of Christ just as we will share in His glory (Romans 8).
This morning I read about the suffering of Christ, and how His suffering brought Him glory. Jesus suffered unjustly. He alone did not deserve the treatment he underwent. He was sinless, and without blame (1 Peter 2:22) but for the glory set before Him endured the suffering for the atonement of us all (Hebrews 12:2). Some people call the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ a form of “divine child abuse” because no parent who loves their child would ever sacrifice them so horribly. These people do not understand the glory of Jesus’ incomparable suffering, and that the Bible tells us that “it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief” (Isaiah 53:10) and because of this “many will be accounted as righteous” (Isaiah 53:11). How glorious and wonderful to know that Jesus, the one least deserving of suffering, endured the greatest amount of suffering in an effort to fulfill the righteous requirement of all humans to be called children of God. It is because of this that I can endure the sufferings set before me. It is because of this that I can go quietly into the night knowing that darkness and uncertainty is not something to be feared, but something that has already been conquered. Thank you, Lord for your clarity and peace in this!

Confessions of Spiritual Bigotry

2008-07-01T11:30:00.001-04:00

   I faced some of my demons this Sunday. Now before you break out your tambourine, let me explain. As mentioned in my last entry I am still working through issues created by my termination 7 months ago. To be honest, these issues go farther back than the incident, but were brought to surface when it all hit the fan. Some of the demons mentioned were anger, resentment, bitterness, etc., but what I didn’t mention was my fear and insecurity. At a risk of sounding like a charismaniac, I admit that a great insecurity has created a stronghold on my life… the insecurity of fundamentalism. Recently I had a dream about me having a violent confrontation with an individual who was not at the center of my termination, but certainly fanned the flame of legalism that ultimately consumed the church’s leadership. He tried to physically harm me, and when I attempted to flee I couldn’t because he was standing on my feet. I was able to avoid a fistfight (this guy is big and scary), but I spent the rest of the dream trying to convince him that he was wrong and that he was causing all sorts of pain and trouble for my family and for other families in the church. The dream ended with him seeming to listen but ultimately not wavering from his stance. My dream-whispering wife told me that the dream represented my fear and insecurity concerning the situation and my ongoing personal battle with fundamentalism. She’s sharp… one of the many reasons I love her. She said that I feel paralyzed by what happened and that no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to break away from it or reason with it.
   I took what she said and pondered it for a while. She was right. I can go toe-to-toe with atheists, agnostics, naturalists, and liberals without even breaking a sweat (not that I’m one of those militant, in-your-face, let’s fight types), but the mere thought of confrontation with fundamentalists makes me sick to my stomach. I guess I have lived under the oppression of hyper-morality and legalistic spiritualism that I am like an adult victim of child abuse. I have spiritual post-traumatic stress disorder (SPTSD?). Guilt has been such an aspect of my spiritual journey that it is hard to shake. Now, I’m not saying that we should not feel a sense of guilt over our sin. That is natural and necessary for conviction and repentance. What I am talking about is this sense of shame that embodies much of fundamental thought due to the bad theology of “morality equals redemption.”
   Ok, well I’m sure you may be wondering how I faced my demons. I was asked to lead worship this past Sunday at a church in Sebring, FL. Sebring is literally in the middle of nowhere. Draw a line down the middle of the Florida peninsula and in that blank spot just above Lake Okeechobee you will find a small dot called Sebring. It is industrial, and there is plenty of stuff there like a mall, restaurants and even Starbucks, but it just sort of rises up out of the land and then disappears just as quickly. The church was a plant started by a great guy named Bruce and it was in it’s own building which it apparently shared with a Hispanic church. The week I was to be there was one of their Café Highlands weeks. This was a time when a guest came in and shared a testimony or special in music, or whatever. Since I could do both, it was going to be the Kevin Hendrix hour with me doing songs and weaving the story of my journey through the mix. Great idea. Just my type of thing. When we arrived in town Saturday, I told BJ that I had a feeling that we were going to be the oddballs the next morning… just a hunch. Well, I was right. Apparently the majority of the congregation was out of town, and of those that were left, 90% carried an AARP card. Please don’t think I have anything against older generations… I don’t. I am just realistic about my glaring differences with older generations when it comes to doctrine, theology, church polity, and levels of appropriateness. This isn’t a wholesale difference, but I was raised in the south and anytime I see a church populated with mostly people who are 50+ I automatically assume they have strong fundamental roots (which typically means they also have the baggage that comes with it). Well, my palms started sweating and my gut started churning and I got gas. I always get gas when I am nervous, which makes me even more nervous about being up in front of people. Without going into details, I was able to make it through the “service” and things went really well. I felt I related very well to the audience and they seemed to not only enjoy what I sang and said, but many were moved to walk up to BJ and I and slip us some money. What a relief! One, it was over; Two, they actually liked and accepted me.
   So I faced my demons, and even though they were winning at the start, Christ’s Spirit within me took over and beat away the fear and doubt. “For [we] did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but [we] have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15, plurality mine). Lord please help me to defeat this sinful fear and prejudice that I hold. Father Your truth alone is sufficient for the correction of false thinking. Help me to see my fundamental brothers and sisters as family, even if they remove themselves from me and the world. You alone are my source of hope and righteousness. You keep me, and mold me into the man I am. Help me to not be bitter, vengeful, or unaccommodating. Develop a sense of compassion for my legalistic brothers and sisters. I want to minister to them, not be repugnant to them. As we continue this journey in church planting, Lord help BJ and I partner with all ages and all people who call you “Father” and not just the ones that make us comfortable. We are your servants, not our own. Thank you so much for showing me this and growing me a little more each day.

Dead Men and Wine

2008-06-28T09:12:00.001-04:00

I woke up this morning with the intent to sit down and write something inspiring… but I just don’t have it in me. Ever feel that way? Like your desire doesn’t quite match up with your present ability? Now I’m not talking about desiring to be a basketball star but being stuck with a 5’9” frame. I mean a desire that is within the grasp of your normal aptitude, but for some reason eludes your faculties. Perhaps I should simply start with what I read. Piper wrote about an experience he and his family had in Florida enduring a hurricane. He described the intense ferocity of the storm, and made a statement about how when facing the wind and the waves, you can either curse or worship. He then went on to talk about Job and a number of others in the Bible who chose to worship God rather than curse Him. His ultimate point was that we were to worship Jesus because of His worth of our worship, and not spend our time criticizing His methods of making His worth manifest. I can honestly say that I get where he is coming from. Through everything that has happened to us, I never doubted God’s power or providence, but I definitely questioned His method and timing… sort of like Lazarus’ mourners. “If you had only come sooner, Jesus.” Of course what was Jesus’ reaction? “I am glad I was not there so that you may believe.” (John 11:15) Seems a bit callous for Jesus to have allowed Mary, Martha, and everyone else go through the pain of experiencing the sickness and death of Lazarus simply so Jesus could make people believe. After all, wouldn’t they have believed if He had simply healed Lazarus? Yes, but to the extent that they believed after Jesus raised him from the dead? Of course not.
I am still in the process of exorcising the demons of my situation. There is still anger, bitterness, resentment, and confusion that it seems will take a while to overcome. I never shook my fist at God, but there were times when I didn’t worship Him either. I know things happened the way they did in order for God’s glory to be made great, but it is hard to see it sometimes. I can see where the situation has taken BJ and me, but what about everyone else involved? The church is a mess. How is God glorified in that? Families have fallen to shambles because parents became so weary from fighting each other that they stopped parenting their children. How is God glorified in that? Wicked, pharisaical mindsets have become cemented in the hearts of leadership causing them to feel vindicated in “purging” the church to make it what they want it to be. How is God glorified in that? The pastor left and now lives a life completely sheltered from his calling. How is God glorified in that? The one remaining staff is over-worked, under-paid, and in fear of his future in ministry. Where is the glory in that? I don’t know, but it must be there. Why? Because God doesn’t do or allow anything by accident.
I was reading in John this morning about Jesus’ first miracle. I’ve read this a number of times, but something struck me this time more than others: Jesus seems to have been prodded into this. Now, take what I just said about God not doing anything by accident and I may have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. Jesus seems to have had no intention of making wine that day. He was simply hanging out at the party having a good time when his mom came to him and told him about the wine situation. His response? “What are you telling me for? This isn’t my gig.” Like any good mother, she ignores his protests and tells the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. So there’s Jesus standing at the party, Holy Grail in his hand, with a group of servants staring at him waiting for orders. You can almost hear the needle scratch across the record as the disciples and others around Jesus are waiting to see what he’s going to do. Now we don’t know how things transpired. This could have been a private, pull-aside conversation. Either way, it seems Jesus’ will is changed by the will of his mother. Does this mean God’s will can be changed? Not exactly. What we are seeing here is the Incarnation of God… the God-man. Jesus, being human, is subject to obedience to the Father and His Law. The fifth commandment that God gave all of humanity was to honor your father and mother. It may not have been Jesus’ intent when He went to the party to make a hundred gallons of wine, but it wasn’t against his will either. He simply was obeying his mother, who imperfectly chose to command her son’s abilities.
I’m not real sure where I am going with all of this, but I believe it shows us a bit of the character of God. Yes, everything has purpose. God does everything to further His glory; things that seem trivial, things that seem horrible, and things that seem lovely and beautiful. It is easy to accept the trivial and the beautiful, but not the horrible. Lord, help me as I continue to grow in your grace and in the knowledge of your great sovereignty over all things. Help me to not accept the sins of man, but to accept the situations they create as being tools in accomplishing Your plan for us. Your glory endures forever, despite us. I don’t want to be a “despite.” I want to be a “result of.” Help me to move past my bitterness and anger to a place of broken compassion. Continue to reveal Your heart to me, and shape me into the man You have for me to be.

Something Good from Nazareth

2008-06-26T11:08:00.001-04:00

Well, no big stories to tell today. I’m just sitting in “my office” (the coffee shop) trying to get some things done. I did have a nice read this morning in “Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ.” He spoke of the glorious joy of Jesus, and how joy is part of our salvation. Jesus didn’t save us for our joy, but for His. This was an interesting concept to me because we are constantly being told that God is eternally invested in our joy and happiness… that His desire is for us to live happy lives here on earth. Now, the underlying premise in the concept of Jesus’ joy is that ultimately His joy is what brings us the greatest joy… that our joy is temporal and severely lacking in the face of His extravagant pleasure. I get that. What I have had trouble in was the fact that we, as believers are to exhibit joy in the face of pain and tragedy because it is ultimately part of the joy of Christ. This is apparently part of the sharing in the sufferings of Christ (Romans 8: 16-17). Now, this joy that we are supposed to exhibit is not some glib and lifeless plasticity, rather it is an enduring of suffering with joy in knowing that we are faithful to His call, His glory, and His Kingdom. The Bible tells us that it was for joy that Jesus went to the cross, not for our happiness (Hebrews 12). What was His joy? The gladness of knowing that His actions would result in our worship of Him for delivering the goodness of God’s joy to us . I know it seems rather self-serving, but He is after all God. Anyway, I will make my point…
Over the past few weeks, Jesus has been showing me many things to solidify and settle within my heart and spirit that church planting is my true calling. One of the continuing revelations that He gives me is that my suffering was not in vain. He gives purpose to the heartache and fear. He shows direction in the confusion and anger. Something good has come out of Nazareth! I of course refer to John 1:46 where Nathanael scoffs at the idea of the Messiah coming out of Nazareth. We really don’t know what this passage means, but we can speculate that either Nazareth is so insignificant a town that only rednecks and thieves can be produced, or the town is known for its wickedness as represented in their desire to kill Jesus. Who knows… what I saw this morning as I read this was the confusion of being able to see the goodness of God through something that apparently doesn’t seem able to produce it under normal circumstances. Forgive my hermeneutic, but as I read Nathanael’s words I thought about my termination being Nazareth… can anything good come out of Nazareth? The answer, of course is “Yes!” Jesus has consistently shown me that my suffering has caused a vision for His church; my suffering has caused a righteous indignation against un-biblical and un-loving fundamentalistic sectarianism; my suffering has caused a holy discontent with “doing” church; my suffering has caused me to embrace the community more than the church; my suffering has caused me to rely solely on the power and providence of God and not my abilities or professional Christianity; my suffering has caused me to fully surrender to God’s call to church planting. In this, I find joy. Because of this I can face the future suffering and troubles with joy because I know my joy will be made complete in the glory of Jesus.
This weekend I lead worship for a church in Lakeland. I am also the main speaker, so I plan on somehow weaving my testimony with the worship to help paint a picture of God’s greatness, providence, and faithfulness. I am trying to see if I can get an interim worship “gig” at one of the churches in the Davenport area that are looking for a worship pastor. If I could get that it would be a “job” that I could list on a lease application. Jesse told me that a pastor was also looking to start a Saturday evening “contemporary” service and needed a worship leader for it. That would be ideal, so I pray things would work out for that. I don’t know what God is going to do for us for employment and housing, but I know he will provide exactly what we need… I just pray it is done with expedience! Lord, thank You so much for constant confirmation. Please continue to work in our hearts and lives to change and shape us for Your ministry. Keep Your hand on Jess and Anitra. Help those of us whom are having to raise support. Begin preparing the hearts of those You have chosen to give financially. Help them to let go of what you have entrusted them with. Show them that you blessed them for such a time as this. Prepare the hearts of those whom you have called to join BJ and me in our future plan. Begin the process in their hearts and lives so when we approach them, they will be ready to say, “Yes!” Show BJ and me your provision for a home. You know our desires, and we pray our desires line up with your plan and not our selfishness. Lastly, prepare the hearts of those whom we will be reaching out to in your name. To you be all glory and praise… amen.

Losing Our Instinct

2008-06-24T10:12:00.000-04:00

My dog disappointed me this morning. I have a miniature dachshund that is very much like a third child to BJ and me. We love her and our kids love her. She is a symbol of faith, prayer, and providence for our son (it’s a long story). She is fat and lazy, but I don’t fault her for that

. We, too are fat and lazy and don’t take her for walks. She fits our family well. What disappointed me was something that had to do with her supposed breeding and “natural” instinct. This morning as I was checking email and our dwindling bank account online, Coco (as she is known) scratched on the door of Andrew’s room, asking to be let out. Not wanting her to pee on the carpet, I got up and let her out the front door. Coco did her usual jaunt towards the car tires to sniff where we had driven the previous day, and to sniff around the edge of the driveway, not wanting to commit to getting into the wet grass until she was sure of where she was going to do her “business.” As I neared the edge of our front porch I was startled to see a rabbit sitting wide-eyed no more than a few feet away from Coco. I froze, as did the rabbit except for it’s chewing of the clover it had in its mouth. I realized that we had come upon the little creature quite quickly and without warning so it’s natural defense mechanism had kicked in… stand still and blend in. Normally this would have worked, but the little fella was surrounded by Kelly-green grass, and he was quite contrasting with his brown-ish grey fur. I braced myself for the cacophony of growling, barking, and excited whining as well as the ensuing chase that would inevitably happen. I quickly thought of what the neighbors would think as they saw that weird out-of-work preacher running through their back-yard in his pajama pants chasing a fat and stumbling wiener dog desperately trying to catch a zippy rabbit. And then it happened… Coco did nothing. She never looked up. Doesn’t she smell it? The dog that can smell frozen chicken from across the house can’t smell the rabbit two feet away? The dog that can distinguish one rubber ball from the other simply by smell, cannot smell this furry woodland creature? What?!!! She’s a HOUND! They are bred to smell… her breed specifically to sniff out badgers and dig them out of their holes. Rabbits and badgers can’t be that different. The dachshund I grew up with used to hunt every creature that ever ventured into our back yard: squirrel, rabbit, snake, opossum, birds, meter-readers…

This spectacle of dog sniffing merely feet away from its natural prey took place for about a minute when the rabbit finally realized he could make a clean getaway and, like a ninja-bunny, leaped away and disappeared in silence. Coco, never knew it was there. I was both disappointed and relieved all at the same time. Relieved because I didn’t have to chase my dog in my pajamas, but disappointed because my dog had lost some of her dog-ness.

Of course, this got me thinking… big surprise, huh? How am I like Coco (besides the fat and lazy part)? Have I lost some of my instinct? Have I grown numb and dull to things that had once stimulated my spiritual senses? Have we as Christians become so accustomed to our carefully crafted sub-culture that we have lost our ability to be sensitive to the lost? It’s a big leap, but stay with me. My dog, despite her instinctive breeding, has grown to recognize a different “prey” from her natural ones. Instead of her ears perking up and tail wagging at the smell of rabbits, squirrels, armadillos, or snakes, she gets that way about bacon grease, potato chips, chew toys, and scrambled eggs. Now, I’m not saying she won’t go nuts if she actually sees one run across the yard, but she rarely recognizes them, and she definitely doesn’t look for them. Most Christians will get all excited and wiggly when a willing “lost person”, or seeker, is plopped right in front of them, but they rarely recognize them on their own, and they definitely don’t look for them. We have grown used to chasing after cool programs, self-serving events, and good, clean, christian fun. I have served in churches that are so caught up in pursuing their wants and “passions” that they fail to see the “rabbit” standing two feet away. Can I blame them? Yes and no. Yes because I believe in the “priesthood of believers” (1 Peter 2:9) and everyone who claims to be a follower of Christ is given the responsibility, the commission of teaching and baptizing “the world” into the discipleship of Christ. No, because they are undoubtedly operating under the example of their pastor(s) who more than likely has either become occupied in building his/her own kingdom or in making his/her congregation happy so as to insure job security.

This morning I read John Piper and he wrote about Jesus being both the Lion and the Lamb. He mentioned what Jonathan Edwards called an “admirable conjunction of diverse excellencies.” In other words, we find in Jesus two excellent “natures” being exhibited that would normally seem contradictory. He is the meek Lamb, willing to be led into slaughter and also the kingly Lion who wages war against sin and the Enemy. I believe we have lost sight of the Lion of Judah because we have become comfortable in the work of the Lamb of God. In John 1:29-34 we see John (the Baptist) proclaiming Jesus as the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of man. He is pointing out Jesus as the savior of the world, and as the Son of God. What I found interesting about this was the fact that John made a point of saying that he didn’t know this about Jesus, even though he was supposed to prepare the way for Him (remember, John was Jesus’ cousin so he knew Him personally). What tipped him off was the “anointing” of the Holy Spirit. He said he saw the Spirit of God descend upon Jesus like a dove. Whether it was an actual dove or the spirit descended in the same manner as a dove would it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that John was able to recognize the Spirit of God as it descended. Had John become so caught up in his ministry, he could have lost sight of the real reason he was there. John had many followers, and was quite popular. We know this because the religious establishment felt threatened enough to send thugs to question him about his “authority.” I pray that I am more like John and less like my dog (go ahead and laugh). I want to see the rabbits. I want to get excited about reaching a culture divorced from God. I don’t want to be so immersed in the Christian sub-culture that I lose sight of the real world around me. Lord, keep me from becoming like those who cannot see Your harvest. Keep my instincts sharp. Keep me aware and in tune. Help me to recognize Your Spirit as it moves and works. Give me work that would put me in the culture I am supposed to minister to. Give us a home in the area where we are supposed to serve. Open doors and close doors so we can effectively deliver and administer the gospel to Your people.

Vision for the Culture, not the Church

2008-06-21T13:39:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I saw a woman save a turtle. I was on the way home and I saw her car pulled over to the right-hand side of the road. She was getting out of the car, and as I slowed down I saw the turtle in the right lane. I slowed my truck even more and watched as she gently picked up the turtle and walked it across the road. “That’s nice,” I thought as I drove on. Looking in my side-view mirror, though, I saw that she did not simply put the turtle in the scrub of the median. Instead, she boldly walked across the other two oncoming lanes to put the turtle safely out of harms way. “That’s serious commitment to turtle safety,” I thought to myself. I then began to ponder what I had just experienced. Whenever I see a turtle in the road, I slow down and go around it hoping everyone else will do the same, giving the poor guy a chance. I don’t want the turtle to get squished. I think it is a sad thing when I see dead turtles on the road… but I don’t pull over to personally carry them to safety. Why? I guess its because I don’t have a true vision for turtles. Let me explain… You see, the “turtle” was actually a Gopher Tortoise, and they are what the biological conservation community calls a “keystone species.” A keystone species is similar to the keystone in an arch (the crown or apex). It feels the least amount of pressure, but without it, the arch collapses. I the eco-system, certain species have a much greater effect on their environment than their size or abundance indicates. In other words, if the keystone species left, it could have a devastating effect on many other species. You see, the Gopher Tortoise gets its name because of the large burrows that it digs (up to 40 feet). These burrows become home to over 300 different animal species, all living symbiotically. Without the tortoise to dig the condos, where would the other animals find shelter? Did the lady know all of this? Probably. You see, my neighborhood is on a nature preserve, and not one block from where the “incident” happened is a nature and conservation center. Take this and add it to the fact that the woman was driving a Volkswagen and wearing Birkenstocks, and I’m pretty sure she had a vision for the Gopher Tortoise in South Florida.
So what does this have to do with my church-planting journey? Glad you ask. It just so happened that at the time I was listening to Ed Stetzer deliver a message to a group of church planters. Ed is a church planter, author, and conference speaker for Lifeway and other organizations. The thrust of his message was vision… vision for the culture. He said that too many people go into church planting with a great vision for the church, but not for the culture. They have a great vision for what the church could be, but truly lack a vision for what the actual community and culture can sustain. We all want a cool church that is artsy, edgy, missional, and indie-rock; but our communities are really just not all that cool. Those churches are few and far between simply because there are rarely that many cool people grouped in one community. I fall prey to this. I am a creative person. I love creativity, and I thrive on the creative process. The idea of having a church full of artists, musicians, and COOL people is intoxicating… but not very realistic. I need to cultivate a vision for the community of Davenport and the Four Corners area more than what the church would look like. My desire for a cool church is very much like my desire not to run over the turtle. Sure, I don’t want to see the community die, but I am more interested in making the church what I want it to be. I need to be like the lady who deeply understood the implications of a dead turtle. Lord, please help me to grow in love and compassion for the people of Davenport and Four Corners. Help me to have such a passion for them that I am willing to pull over my life just to help them get to the other side. Help me not to have a vision for the church, but create in me a vision for your people.

Holy Discontent

2008-06-20T19:58:00.000-04:00

This morning as I sit in front of my laptop writing this, I am bathed in Beatles music. The twenty-something behind the counter at the coffee bar is going through YouTube videos of the Fab Four, which are consequently piped through the sound system. “Hey Jude” is reverberating through the small shop as the young man sits, leaned-in to the computer screen, taking the images and sounds in as though he can somehow absorb their musical greatness.

This is worship. He is worshipping Paul, John, George, and Ringo. I’m sure he doesn’t subscribe to some strange Beatles cult, nor would he say John or Paul were gods, but he is participating in worship… he is doing everything possible to see, savor, and get caught up in experiencing the musical genius of the group from Liverpool. He wants to get as close tothem as possible; experience their passion; brush up against their creativity; and sit at the feet of their musical greatness in hopes of becoming like them somehow. To be honest, I am rather enjoying it. It’s been a while since I’ve really listened to the Beatles. They were true innovators…

I read John Piper this morning and he “spoke” about what he usually does… the glory of God in Christ. It was very interesting to be reading what he had to say in juxtaposition to the experience going on around me (Beatles worship). Piper wrote about the vastness of the universe and how it declared the glory of God, and how our vast insignificance in the universe declared the glory of Christ. How Christ’s sacrifice and love for such insignificance signals how great and glorious and worthy of worth He really is. I am, of course, over-simplifying things, but the idea is still there of Jesus forsaking His apparent glory to take on an image of insignificance which would ultimately lead to a much greater glory than we could ever perceive. After reading Piper, I read the first 18 verses of the Gospel of John. I’ve read and heard this passage numerous times, but somehow this morning it hit me in another way. In the surroundings of Beatles worship, with John Piper’s words rattling around in my head, I read the following words:

“The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”

…His own people did not receive Him. Man, I’ve been guilty of this. Now, I know John was speaking about the people of Israel and their rejection of Him, but I see how even those who are “children of God” sometime choose not to receive the love and joy Jesus has given us. I know I exchange the glory of Christ for the glory of other things… sex, comfort, technology, acceptance, etc. Why do I do this? Why am I like the dude behind the coffee bar staring into a screen of moving images hoping to brush up against greatness when the very creator of greatness is living within me? Perhaps I am afraid of the glory of Christ. Perhaps it seems like too much for me to handle… like I will be crushed under its weight. Maybe I know the glory of Christ is like the clearest of mirrors that will not only show my reflection, but will also illuminate my wickedness. There we have it. My sinful, natural self is striving against my spiritual, regenerated self (Romans 7:21-23). I replace the glory of Christ because I am embarrassed of who I truly am. Lord, help me to worship only You and not my self-image. Help me to rest in your completion and not strive for acceptance from anyone except You. Help me to savor your presence like the guy at the coffee shop savors the Beatles. No, I want to love You more than that. I don’t want to worship You from afar. I want to be immersed in Your greatness…

Last night as I was traveling to and from worship practice I listened to a message given by Bill Hybels to a group of church planters. He spoke of church planting being the result of a holy discontent and not merely a “hankering” for something different. He said that a hankering for church planting would cause you to leave when things get tough. It will cause you to seek something better or more secure when you are in the midst of insecurity. We give up on our hankerings. If we have a holy discontent, then it burns like a fire and we will not give up until it is satisfied. This discontent is not a petty unhappiness with church, but rather dissatisfaction with doing anything with your life other than pursuing the call of church planting. It is a refusal to be content with simply “doing” church, and a desire to “be” the church to a lost, dying, and fragmented world. Bill Hybels spoke of how he left a multi-million dollar career because of his holy discontent, and how he often thought about that, as he was knee-deep in the harshness and thankless-ness of ministry; but he never considered going back. I thought about that as I listened to him and I remembered something BJ (my wife) said when after we had accepted God’s call on our lives to be church planters. She said that many other things will make themselves available to us that will seem much sweeter, but we need to stay the course and not veer from what God has put before us and what we have committed to. Since then, only a few things have come our way that would be considered “sweet distractions”, but nothing that was hard to say “no” to. However, last night I got a phone call during worship practice. I recognized the area code as being in the Lakeland area and I figured it was Bruce calling to discuss the worship service I would be leading next weekend. On my way home I called the number back, and was surprised to find out that it wasn’t Bruce. It was the pastor at a church in Lakeland who had found my resume on churchstaffing.com and wanted to set-up an interview with me to be the pastor of worship arts. Now, just a bit of history… back in January (about 6 months ago) I had felt God calling me out of student ministry and into worship arts. I was unemployed at the time so I began the process of re-inventing myself. I bought some home studio gear and began making demos and I even set up a makeshift photo shoot to make a simple portfolio for my resume and DVD. I served for 3-4 months on the worship team at a church where I was also hoping to candidate for a position. It didn’t work out, but I had gathered enough video and audio recordings of myself to put a digital resume together. I sent out my resume to a number of churches and never even got a phone call or email back. I was devastated. It was during this time that God solidified that He was actually calling us into church planting.

So, I have been unemployed for 7 months, looking for work (ANY work) and have been highly unsuccessful when I get this phone call. Know what I said? “Thanks, but no thanks. God has called me to be a church planter.” Can you believe that? I’m not saying I would have gotten the job, but I turned it down without even thinking about it. I was stunned. I called BJ and told her. I asked if I was crazy, and she said yes, but that was what we had been called to be: crazy church planters. It was then that I realized I had a holy discontent within me, and not simply a hankering born out of desperation from unemployment. It was liberating. I was totally sold-out to this calling and it manifested itself in my turning down an interview for a job for which I was highly qualified and in which I could be very “successful”. Now I know many people will say I am crazy, and that this could have been God’s providence, but I don’t see it that way. I see it as God’s test. I trust in His calling, and if He has called me to church planting, then I must forsake all others for the sake of His glory and for the sake of His calling. Thank you Lord for showing me your call and for the strength to pursue it. Protect and keep me. Surround me with your hope, support, and encouragement. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

The Journey Begins

2008-06-17T19:55:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Well, we had our first meeting of The Church Formerly Known As Church Of The Highlands -Four Corners (TCFKACOTH)… gotta get a better way to refer to it… At the time I didn’t think much about it because we were just a bunch of people hanging out getting to know each other, but it really was our first gathering as a new community of faith. BJ and I were noticeably a bit self-conscious, but that went away pretty soon. We met some really great people and saw how we could easily fit in this group and “do life” with them. Every time we go to the Davenport area we seem to get more and more excited about moving up and being a part of what God is going to be doing there. Jesse has done a great job of assembling a team of people who are sold-out and committed to God’s vision for the Four Corners area. We have begun this church with more people “on staff” than most churches ever have. The level of talent and creativity is already astonishing, and I can’t wait to see who else God is preparing.

I still haven’t found work, and I am getting quite frustrated. I know God has called us to be there… I don’t doubt that… but I wish He would go ahead and show me what I am supposed to be doing and go ahead and provide a job. Jesse talked with us briefly about his father’s air filter business, and it seems like a good idea. I guess I just need some form of definitive answer from God about whether this is what I am supposed to pursue or not. I think I could do it, and do a good job at it. In fact, I could do it here in PSL before we moved up. Speaking of moving up, we need to find a place to move to as well. We thought about an apartment, but a house would really be more conducive to ministry. We would of course be renting, but not having a job yet kinda puts a wrench in the gears since we don’t really know what we can afford. There is one possibility that has made itself somewhat available… We have a college student who was a part of our last ministry who has remained friends with BJ and me. She usually house-sits for us and is our go-to baby-sitter. She is moving to the Orlando area to attend UCF, and her housing situation seems to have fallen through. BJ and I are thinking that she could live with us (rent a room) and that would allow for us to be able to afford a house that would be big enough to accommodate family and ministry. We will be praying about whether or not that is a good idea and if so, then show us something!

Jesse encouraged all of us to spend the next few months “falling in love” with Jesus. I really need to get back my joy in Him. I need to “taste and see” that He is good. I’ve always known it, and I have never stopped loving Him, but I have seriously neglected our relationship. I plan on reading through the book of John and then Acts and hopefully commenting on it as part of my journal. I will also include thoughts from other books and conversations I will be having. This is going to be an exciting, terrifying, interesting, and altogether difficult journey, but I know God has prepared us… so here we go!