
I have the tendency to come across as overbearing, negative, and jerk-ish when I offer push-back. I don’t know why, but it always seems like people are taken back by what I have to say when I disagree. I know this about myself, and I try to rein it in, but I ultimately cannot control an individual’s perception. At the meeting I voiced my concerns and misgivings about the fasting issue, and then felt a great discomfort in the room. Great! I did it again. I was reassured by others that it was all good, but I know how I can come across. Anyway, from that moment on I felt as though God was working on my heart to help me better understand the issue of fasting. The words to that song kept coming to mind, “Hungry I come to You, for I know You satisfy…” Later that night Jesse asked me how I express desperation to God. The ways that I offered were good, but somehow seemed hollow to me. They rang in my ears like a clanging symbol, while the “Hungry” lyrics kept becoming clearer and clearer.
The next day brought everything to a laser-like focus. We were out riding around looking at houses, and had the opportunity to get into one and check it out. The agent who showed it to us was very nice, and through our conversation I found out she was a fellow believer. I began to explain our situation and she seemed very excited about it. The house would be very good for us. It is close to Jesse and Anitra and it is in the same development as one of Andrew’s new friends, Alex. The carpet is all jacked-up and the appliances are old, but that’s minor compared to homelessness. In the end, we would still have to pay out more money than we have just to get into the house, but I felt very confident in the connection we had made with the agent. We left, went to a meeting with Art (our new “employer”) and then went back to the Carbo house to let the kids hang out while BJ and I went looking at other places to live. When we went out to the car to go house hunting we discovered our right front tire was flat. This stunk, but what

So we are waiting on God to provide. I will contact the agent and get the ball rolling on the application, but I will also begin to appeal to her spiritual nature in Christ to help us out with deposits and fees. We feel that we need to take the leap and allow God to do what He promises to do: work it out for our good (Romans 8:28). Where does fasting come into play? We are desperate. We are falling on our knees, offering all of ourselves. We are hungry for God’s satisfying glory and power. We know that God will be glorified in our satisfaction of Him, so we place our satisfaction in Him. I am going to fast over this. I don’t know how long, but I actually feel prompted by God to be hungry for Him to provide. We are going to need anywhere from $2000 to $3000 to complete our move. We don’t have it, but we are going to wait on God to provide it. If you feel moved to help us, please respond and let me know. If you feel moved to join us in desperate prayer over this, please respond and let me know. If you want to say “I told you so!”, please keep it to yourself.
Lord, you know our needs. There is never a time when you do not know what we need. When we pray to You it doesn’t come as a surprise. You lay on our hearts what we need to pray because You have the answer ready for us. Father we are hungry and thirsty for you. We are broken and desperate for your grace, mercy, and providence. You hold sway over all things and all people. Lord we pray for you to work this out for our good, not for our sake, but so that we will glorify You with our satisfaction and pleasure in You and Your providence.
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