Random Thoughts...

         They say you should never shop for groceries when you are hungry. It’s probably true that you should never blog when you are depressed. Well, I’m not depressed, but I’m not pooting rainbows either. I should be very happy because BJ and I were finally able to get our family newsletter and support letters printed and mailed out. I also was able to get the PayPal donation button to work (see sidebar). But… I wake up this morning to news that our nation’s finances are even worse than when I went to bed (and I went late… go Beavers!). I’m not normally that concerned about Wall Street because I don’t have money anyway (my Roth is so under-funded that I may have to pay when it comes to retirement), but this news is a real punch in the gut. Why? Because I just mailed and emailed support letters asking people I know and love to commit to sending us money. Our nation is on the brink of bankruptcy and I am asking people for money! I brought this up to my beautiful bride and she told me to pump my brakes (well, not really, but you get the idea). She reinforced the truth of God’s faithfulness to us. If He called us to this, then He will provide. He has made it very obvious to us that we are not supposed to rely solely on a job for our provision (can’t even get an interview). We should trust in our calling and trust that God has already prepared people to give. I’m so thankful God put us together. She’s a perfect fit for me. So, I will breathe a heavy sigh of resignation as I look at an empty bank account (literally) and wait patiently and prayerfully for what is coming next…

          I have been intending to write something much sooner, but we have been quite busy, and by the time I was able to write I was too tired to produce a coherent thought. Last week we attended a church-planting leadership conference called Blossom. Our worship team participated in the patchwork band that led worship for the conference, which was pretty fun, but quite tiring (emotionally as well as physically). Overall the conference was pretty good, but the highlight was Alex McManus. He spoke on the “radical” idea of Christians becoming human again. It was awesome! Everything he touched on was something that has been a part of my internal and external conversations for the past three years. He peeled back the façade of what we consider true Christianity to be. He exposed the church’s disconnect with the real world, and how followers of Christ went from being called “Christians” (little-Christ’s) to calling themselves Christian. I don’t have the time or space to go into all of this, but I will touch on many of the things he presented in the weeks to come. Right now I will say that his “conversation” settled in my heart and mind that my convictions are not just the longings of a disgruntled ex-pastor, but rather they are the longings of a heart that desires to truly re-connect with a world that I had been trained to fortify myself against (oddly enough in an effort to reach them… I know, you figure that one out).
          Yesterday BJ and I were talking about how I have always said that I never felt like I was able or meant to be a senior pastor because I don’t really see myself as a Shepherd/Pastoral type. I’m much too blunt and impatient with whiny Christians. She said I was selling myself short, but I don’t see it that way. I know that I would not work out as a traditional pastor in a traditionally structured church. I am a teacher, but the kind that doesn’t have much patience with forced learning. If you don’t want to hear it or learn about it, then ok, but don’t waste everyone else’s time. Mean, I know. Some people would say that my desire as a teacher should be to teach those “whiny” Christians the error of their thinking and direct them toward appropriate and productive thinking and living. They’re right, and I do desire that. It’s the whole stroking issue that I cannot stand. I would much rather spend my time at the pub helping someone cry in their beer than coddle the hurt feelings of a busy-body housewife who was passed over for the VBS planning committee. What a waste of energy and passion! Don’t get me started! This is why I believe God has me in church planting. I couldn’t come in and take the pastorate of an established, traditionally structured church. I wouldn’t last a month! I have a high-school friend who is doing that right now, and I applaud his faith and perseverance. It seems he is having to fight so many petty and insignificant skirmishes that he is not able to lead his people into the real battle for the restoration of broken lives. They have forgotten what it means to be human and exchanged it for being “Christian.” Jesus came to be human among us so that we may be able to see how it is supposed to be done, not so we would create a new way of living that runs counter-intuitive to the rest of humanity.
          In the end, I am very excited about the prospects laid out before me for connection and ministry with this community. We hope to be able to move forward with some radically different ideas and models of church-planting in an effort to re-gain status and respect within the local culture in an effort to show and teach them the redemptive, restorative power of Jesus Christ. I hope each of you will join us in prayer as we seek God’s guidance and provision. Oh, I am preaching this Sunday at a church in Bartow, FL so remember that during your prayers as well!
          Lord, You are so very gracious and merciful to even include me in Your plans. Thank You so much for the blessings You have bestowed upon my family. We desperately need Your constant hand of provision to under gird our efforts and support our lives physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. You have called us, and we have answered. Please continue to show us the path we must take, and quickly shut the doors of opportunity that we are not supposed to go through. Your word tells us that you hold us and will never let us go, so we trust and rely on that truth. Please touch the hearts of those you have prepared to support us financially. Help them see that You alone provide what they have, and that You alone can sustain it. You have prepared each of us for this time, and this moment, so help us to live according to Your plan. Thank You, thank You, Thank You!