Dead Men and Wine

I woke up this morning with the intent to sit down and write something inspiring… but I just don’t have it in me. Ever feel that way? Like your desire doesn’t quite match up with your present ability? Now I’m not talking about desiring to be a basketball star but being stuck with a 5’9” frame. I mean a desire that is within the grasp of your normal aptitude, but for some reason eludes your faculties. Perhaps I should simply start with what I read. Piper wrote about an experience he and his family had in Florida enduring a hurricane. He described the intense ferocity of the storm, and made a statement about how when facing the wind and the waves, you can either curse or worship. He then went on to talk about Job and a number of others in the Bible who chose to worship God rather than curse Him. His ultimate point was that we were to worship Jesus because of His worth of our worship, and not spend our time criticizing His methods of making His worth manifest. I can honestly say that I get where he is coming from. Through everything that has happened to us, I never doubted God’s power or providence, but I definitely questioned His method and timing… sort of like Lazarus’ mourners. “If you had only come sooner, Jesus.” Of course what was Jesus’ reaction? “I am glad I was not there so that you may believe.” (John 11:15) Seems a bit callous for Jesus to have allowed Mary, Martha, and everyone else go through the pain of experiencing the sickness and death of Lazarus simply so Jesus could make people believe. After all, wouldn’t they have believed if He had simply healed Lazarus? Yes, but to the extent that they believed after Jesus raised him from the dead? Of course not.
I am still in the process of exorcising the demons of my situation. There is still anger, bitterness, resentment, and confusion that it seems will take a while to overcome. I never shook my fist at God, but there were times when I didn’t worship Him either. I know things happened the way they did in order for God’s glory to be made great, but it is hard to see it sometimes. I can see where the situation has taken BJ and me, but what about everyone else involved? The church is a mess. How is God glorified in that? Families have fallen to shambles because parents became so weary from fighting each other that they stopped parenting their children. How is God glorified in that? Wicked, pharisaical mindsets have become cemented in the hearts of leadership causing them to feel vindicated in “purging” the church to make it what they want it to be. How is God glorified in that? The pastor left and now lives a life completely sheltered from his calling. How is God glorified in that? The one remaining staff is over-worked, under-paid, and in fear of his future in ministry. Where is the glory in that? I don’t know, but it must be there. Why? Because God doesn’t do or allow anything by accident.
I was reading in John this morning about Jesus’ first miracle. I’ve read this a number of times, but something struck me this time more than others: Jesus seems to have been prodded into this. Now, take what I just said about God not doing anything by accident and I may have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. Jesus seems to have had no intention of making wine that day. He was simply hanging out at the party having a good time when his mom came to him and told him about the wine situation. His response? “What are you telling me for? This isn’t my gig.” Like any good mother, she ignores his protests and tells the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. So there’s Jesus standing at the party, Holy Grail in his hand, with a group of servants staring at him waiting for orders. You can almost hear the needle scratch across the record as the disciples and others around Jesus are waiting to see what he’s going to do. Now we don’t know how things transpired. This could have been a private, pull-aside conversation. Either way, it seems Jesus’ will is changed by the will of his mother. Does this mean God’s will can be changed? Not exactly. What we are seeing here is the Incarnation of God… the God-man. Jesus, being human, is subject to obedience to the Father and His Law. The fifth commandment that God gave all of humanity was to honor your father and mother. It may not have been Jesus’ intent when He went to the party to make a hundred gallons of wine, but it wasn’t against his will either. He simply was obeying his mother, who imperfectly chose to command her son’s abilities.
I’m not real sure where I am going with all of this, but I believe it shows us a bit of the character of God. Yes, everything has purpose. God does everything to further His glory; things that seem trivial, things that seem horrible, and things that seem lovely and beautiful. It is easy to accept the trivial and the beautiful, but not the horrible. Lord, help me as I continue to grow in your grace and in the knowledge of your great sovereignty over all things. Help me to not accept the sins of man, but to accept the situations they create as being tools in accomplishing Your plan for us. Your glory endures forever, despite us. I don’t want to be a “despite.” I want to be a “result of.” Help me to move past my bitterness and anger to a place of broken compassion. Continue to reveal Your heart to me, and shape me into the man You have for me to be.

Something Good from Nazareth

Well, no big stories to tell today. I’m just sitting in “my office” (the coffee shop) trying to get some things done. I did have a nice read this morning in “Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ.” He spoke of the glorious joy of Jesus, and how joy is part of our salvation. Jesus didn’t save us for our joy, but for His. This was an interesting concept to me because we are constantly being told that God is eternally invested in our joy and happiness… that His desire is for us to live happy lives here on earth. Now, the underlying premise in the concept of Jesus’ joy is that ultimately His joy is what brings us the greatest joy… that our joy is temporal and severely lacking in the face of His extravagant pleasure. I get that. What I have had trouble in was the fact that we, as believers are to exhibit joy in the face of pain and tragedy because it is ultimately part of the joy of Christ. This is apparently part of the sharing in the sufferings of Christ (Romans 8: 16-17). Now, this joy that we are supposed to exhibit is not some glib and lifeless plasticity, rather it is an enduring of suffering with joy in knowing that we are faithful to His call, His glory, and His Kingdom. The Bible tells us that it was for joy that Jesus went to the cross, not for our happiness (Hebrews 12). What was His joy? The gladness of knowing that His actions would result in our worship of Him for delivering the goodness of God’s joy to us . I know it seems rather self-serving, but He is after all God. Anyway, I will make my point…
Over the past few weeks, Jesus has been showing me many things to solidify and settle within my heart and spirit that church planting is my true calling. One of the continuing revelations that He gives me is that my suffering was not in vain. He gives purpose to the heartache and fear. He shows direction in the confusion and anger. Something good has come out of Nazareth! I of course refer to John 1:46 where Nathanael scoffs at the idea of the Messiah coming out of Nazareth. We really don’t know what this passage means, but we can speculate that either Nazareth is so insignificant a town that only rednecks and thieves can be produced, or the town is known for its wickedness as represented in their desire to kill Jesus. Who knows… what I saw this morning as I read this was the confusion of being able to see the goodness of God through something that apparently doesn’t seem able to produce it under normal circumstances. Forgive my hermeneutic, but as I read Nathanael’s words I thought about my termination being Nazareth… can anything good come out of Nazareth? The answer, of course is “Yes!” Jesus has consistently shown me that my suffering has caused a vision for His church; my suffering has caused a righteous indignation against un-biblical and un-loving fundamentalistic sectarianism; my suffering has caused a holy discontent with “doing” church; my suffering has caused me to embrace the community more than the church; my suffering has caused me to rely solely on the power and providence of God and not my abilities or professional Christianity; my suffering has caused me to fully surrender to God’s call to church planting. In this, I find joy. Because of this I can face the future suffering and troubles with joy because I know my joy will be made complete in the glory of Jesus.
This weekend I lead worship for a church in Lakeland. I am also the main speaker, so I plan on somehow weaving my testimony with the worship to help paint a picture of God’s greatness, providence, and faithfulness. I am trying to see if I can get an interim worship “gig” at one of the churches in the Davenport area that are looking for a worship pastor. If I could get that it would be a “job” that I could list on a lease application. Jesse told me that a pastor was also looking to start a Saturday evening “contemporary” service and needed a worship leader for it. That would be ideal, so I pray things would work out for that. I don’t know what God is going to do for us for employment and housing, but I know he will provide exactly what we need… I just pray it is done with expedience! Lord, thank You so much for constant confirmation. Please continue to work in our hearts and lives to change and shape us for Your ministry. Keep Your hand on Jess and Anitra. Help those of us whom are having to raise support. Begin preparing the hearts of those You have chosen to give financially. Help them to let go of what you have entrusted them with. Show them that you blessed them for such a time as this. Prepare the hearts of those whom you have called to join BJ and me in our future plan. Begin the process in their hearts and lives so when we approach them, they will be ready to say, “Yes!” Show BJ and me your provision for a home. You know our desires, and we pray our desires line up with your plan and not our selfishness. Lastly, prepare the hearts of those whom we will be reaching out to in your name. To you be all glory and praise… amen.

Losing Our Instinct

My dog disappointed me this morning.  I have a miniature dachshund that is very much like a third child to BJ and me.  We love her and our kids love her.  She is a symbol of faith, prayer, and providence for our son (it’s a long story).  She is fat and lazy, but I don’t fault her for that

.  We, too are fat and lazy and don’t take her for walks.  She fits our family well.  What disappointed me was something that had to do with her supposed breeding and “natural” instinct.  This morning as I was checking email and our dwindling bank account online, Coco (as she is known) scratched on the door of Andrew’s room, asking to be let out.  Not wanting her to pee on the carpet, I got up and let her out the front door.  Coco did her usual jaunt towards the car tires to sniff where we had driven the previous day, and to sniff around the edge of the driveway, not wanting to commit to getting into the wet grass until she was sure of where she was going to do her “business.”  As I neared the edge of our front porch I was startled to see a rabbit sitting wide-eyed no more than a few feet away from Coco.  I froze, as did the rabbit except for it’s chewing of the clover it had in its mouth.  I realized that we had come upon the little creature quite quickly and without warning so it’s natural defense mechanism had kicked in… stand still and blend in.  Normally this would have worked, but the little fella was surrounded by Kelly-green grass, and he was quite contrasting with his brown-ish grey fur.  I braced myself for the cacophony of growling, barking, and excited whining as well as the ensuing chase that would inevitably happen.  I quickly thought of what the neighbors would think as they saw that weird out-of-work preacher running through their back-yard in his pajama pants chasing a fat and stumbling wiener dog desperately trying to catch a zippy rabbit. And then it happened… Coco did nothing.  She never looked up.  Doesn’t she smell it?  The dog that can smell frozen chicken from across the house can’t smell the rabbit two feet away?  The dog that can distinguish one rubber ball from the other simply by smell, cannot smell this furry woodland creature?  What?!!!  She’s a HOUND!  They are bred to smell… her breed specifically to sniff out badgers and dig them out of their holes.  Rabbits and badgers can’t be that different.  The dachshund I grew up with used to hunt every creature that ever ventured into our back yard: squirrel, rabbit, snake, opossum, birds, meter-readers…  

This spectacle of dog sniffing merely feet away from its natural prey took place for about a minute when the rabbit finally realized he could make a clean getaway and, like a ninja-bunny, leaped away and disappeared in silence.  Coco, never knew it was there.  I was both disappointed and relieved all at the same time.  Relieved because I didn’t have to chase my dog in my pajamas, but disappointed because my dog had lost some of her dog-ness. 

            Of course, this got me thinking… big surprise, huh?  How am I like Coco (besides the fat and lazy part)?  Have I lost some of my instinct?  Have I grown numb and dull to things that had once stimulated my spiritual senses?  Have we as Christians become so accustomed to our carefully crafted sub-culture that we have lost our ability to be sensitive to the lost?  It’s a big leap, but stay with me.  My dog, despite her instinctive breeding, has grown to recognize a different “prey” from her natural ones.  Instead of her ears perking up and tail wagging at the smell of rabbits, squirrels, armadillos, or snakes, she gets that way about bacon grease, potato chips, chew toys, and scrambled eggs.  Now, I’m not saying she won’t go nuts if she actually sees one run across the yard, but she rarely recognizes them, and she definitely doesn’t look for them.  Most Christians will get all excited and wiggly when a willing “lost person”, or seeker, is plopped right in front of them, but they rarely recognize them on their own, and they definitely don’t look for them.  We have grown used to chasing after cool programs, self-serving events, and good, clean, christian fun.  I have served in churches that are so caught up in pursuing their wants and “passions” that they fail to see the “rabbit” standing two feet away.  Can I blame them?  Yes and no.  Yes because I believe in the “priesthood of believers” (1 Peter 2:9) and everyone who claims to be a follower of Christ is given the responsibility, the commission of teaching and baptizing “the world” into the discipleship of Christ.  No, because they are undoubtedly operating under the example of their pastor(s) who more than likely has either become occupied in building his/her own kingdom or in making his/her congregation happy so as to insure job security. 

            This morning I read John Piper and he wrote about Jesus being both the Lion and the Lamb.  He mentioned what Jonathan Edwards called an “admirable conjunction of diverse excellencies.”  In other words, we find in Jesus two excellent “natures” being exhibited that would normally seem contradictory.  He is the meek Lamb, willing to be led into slaughter and also the kingly Lion who wages war against sin and the Enemy.  I believe we have lost sight of the Lion of Judah because we have become comfortable in the work of the Lamb of God.  In John 1:29-34 we see John (the Baptist) proclaiming Jesus as the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of man.  He is pointing out Jesus as the savior of the world, and as the Son of God.  What I found interesting about this was the fact that John made a point of saying that he didn’t know this about Jesus, even though he was supposed to prepare the way for Him (remember, John was Jesus’ cousin so he knew Him personally).  What tipped him off was the “anointing” of the Holy Spirit.  He said he saw the Spirit of God descend upon Jesus like a dove.  Whether it was an actual dove or the spirit descended in the same manner as a dove would it doesn’t really matter.  What matters is that John was able to recognize the Spirit of God as it descended.  Had John become so caught up in his ministry, he could have lost sight of the real reason he was there.  John had many followers, and was quite popular.  We know this because the religious establishment felt threatened enough to send thugs to question him about his “authority.”  I pray that I am more like John and less like my dog (go ahead and laugh).  I want to see the rabbits.  I want to get excited about reaching a culture divorced from God.  I don’t want to be so immersed in the Christian sub-culture that I lose sight of the real world around me.  Lord, keep me from becoming like those who cannot see Your harvest.  Keep my instincts sharp.  Keep me aware and in tune.  Help me to recognize Your Spirit as it moves and works.  Give me work that would put me in the culture I am supposed to minister to.  Give us a home in the area where we are supposed to serve.  Open doors and close doors so we can effectively deliver and administer the gospel to Your people.

Vision for the Culture, not the Church

Yesterday I saw a woman save a turtle. I was on the way home and I saw her car pulled over to the right-hand side of the road. She was getting out of the car, and as I slowed down I saw the turtle in the right lane. I slowed my truck even more and watched as she gently picked up the turtle and walked it across the road. “That’s nice,” I thought as I drove on. Looking in my side-view mirror, though, I saw that she did not simply put the turtle in the scrub of the median. Instead, she boldly walked across the other two oncoming lanes to put the turtle safely out of harms way. “That’s serious commitment to turtle safety,” I thought to myself. I then began to ponder what I had just experienced. Whenever I see a turtle in the road, I slow down and go around it hoping everyone else will do the same, giving the poor guy a chance. I don’t want the turtle to get squished. I think it is a sad thing when I see dead turtles on the road… but I don’t pull over to personally carry them to safety. Why? I guess its because I don’t have a true vision for turtles. Let me explain… You see, the “turtle” was actually a Gopher Tortoise, and they are what the biological conservation community calls a “keystone species.” A keystone species is similar to the keystone in an arch (the crown or apex). It feels the least amount of pressure, but without it, the arch collapses. I the eco-system, certain species have a much greater effect on their environment than their size or abundance indicates. In other words, if the keystone species left, it could have a devastating effect on many other species. You see, the Gopher Tortoise gets its name because of the large burrows that it digs (up to 40 feet). These burrows become home to over 300 different animal species, all living symbiotically. Without the tortoise to dig the condos, where would the other animals find shelter? Did the lady know all of this? Probably. You see, my neighborhood is on a nature preserve, and not one block from where the “incident” happened is a nature and conservation center. Take this and add it to the fact that the woman was driving a Volkswagen and wearing Birkenstocks, and I’m pretty sure she had a vision for the Gopher Tortoise in South Florida.
So what does this have to do with my church-planting journey? Glad you ask. It just so happened that at the time I was listening to Ed Stetzer deliver a message to a group of church planters. Ed is a church planter, author, and conference speaker for Lifeway and other organizations. The thrust of his message was vision… vision for the culture. He said that too many people go into church planting with a great vision for the church, but not for the culture. They have a great vision for what the church could be, but truly lack a vision for what the actual community and culture can sustain. We all want a cool church that is artsy, edgy, missional, and indie-rock; but our communities are really just not all that cool. Those churches are few and far between simply because there are rarely that many cool people grouped in one community. I fall prey to this. I am a creative person. I love creativity, and I thrive on the creative process. The idea of having a church full of artists, musicians, and COOL people is intoxicating… but not very realistic. I need to cultivate a vision for the community of Davenport and the Four Corners area more than what the church would look like. My desire for a cool church is very much like my desire not to run over the turtle. Sure, I don’t want to see the community die, but I am more interested in making the church what I want it to be. I need to be like the lady who deeply understood the implications of a dead turtle. Lord, please help me to grow in love and compassion for the people of Davenport and Four Corners. Help me to have such a passion for them that I am willing to pull over my life just to help them get to the other side. Help me not to have a vision for the church, but create in me a vision for your people.

Holy Discontent

This morning as I sit in front of my laptop writing this, I am bathed in Beatles music. The twenty-something behind the counter at the coffee bar is going through YouTube videos of the Fab Four, which are consequently piped through the sound system.  “Hey Jude” is reverberating through the small shop as the young man sits, leaned-in to the computer screen, taking the images and sounds in as though he can somehow absorb their musical greatness.

     This is worship.  He is worshipping Paul, John, George, and Ringo.  I’m sure he doesn’t subscribe to some strange Beatles cult, nor would he say John or Paul were gods, but he is participating in worship… he is doing everything possible to see, savor, and get caught up in experiencing the musical genius of the group from Liverpool.  He wants to get as close tothem as possible; experience their passion; brush up against their creativity; and sit at the feet of their musical greatness in hopes of becoming like them somehow.  To be honest, I am rather enjoying it.  It’s been a while since I’ve really listened to the Beatles.  They were true innovators…

            I read John Piper this morning and he “spoke” about what he usually does… the glory of God in Christ.  It was very interesting to be reading what he had to say in juxtaposition to the experience going on around me (Beatles worship).  Piper wrote about the vastness of the universe and how it declared the glory of God, and how our vast insignificance in the universe declared the glory of Christ.  How Christ’s sacrifice and love for such insignificance signals how great and glorious and worthy of worth He really is.  I am, of course, over-simplifying things, but the idea is still there of Jesus forsaking His apparent glory to take on an image of insignificance which would ultimately lead to a much greater glory than we could ever perceive.  After reading Piper, I read the first 18 verses of the Gospel of John.  I’ve read and heard this passage numerous times, but somehow this morning it hit me in another way.  In the surroundings of Beatles worship, with John Piper’s words rattling around in my head, I read the following words:

            “The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”

            …His own people did not receive Him.  Man, I’ve been guilty of this.  Now, I know John was speaking about the people of Israel and their rejection of Him, but I see how even those who are “children of God” sometime choose not to receive the love and joy Jesus has given us.  I know I exchange the glory of Christ for the glory of other things… sex, comfort, technology, acceptance, etc.  Why do I do this?  Why am I like the dude behind the coffee bar staring into a screen of moving images hoping to brush up against greatness when the very creator of greatness is living within me?  Perhaps I am afraid of the glory of Christ.  Perhaps it seems like too much for me to handle… like I will be crushed under its weight.  Maybe I know the glory of Christ is like the clearest of mirrors that will not only show my reflection, but will also illuminate my wickedness.  There we have it.  My sinful, natural self is striving against my spiritual, regenerated self (Romans 7:21-23).  I replace the glory of Christ because I am embarrassed of who I truly am.  Lord, help me to worship only You and not my self-image.  Help me to rest in your completion and not strive for acceptance from anyone except You.  Help me to savor your presence like the guy at the coffee shop savors the Beatles.  No, I want to love You more than that.  I don’t want to worship You from afar.  I want to be immersed in Your greatness…

            Last night as I was traveling to and from worship practice I listened to a message given by Bill Hybels to a group of church planters.  He spoke of church planting being the result of a holy discontent and not merely a “hankering” for something different.  He said that a hankering for church planting would cause you to leave when things get tough.  It will cause you to seek something better or more secure when you are in the midst of insecurity.  We give up on our hankerings.  If we have a holy discontent, then it burns like a fire and we will not give up until it is satisfied.  This discontent is not a petty unhappiness with church, but rather dissatisfaction with doing anything with your life other than pursuing the call of church planting.  It is a refusal to be content with simply “doing” church, and a desire to “be” the church to a lost, dying, and fragmented world.  Bill Hybels spoke of how he left a multi-million dollar career because of his holy discontent, and how he often thought about that, as he was knee-deep in the harshness and thankless-ness of ministry; but he never considered going back.  I thought about that as I listened to him and I remembered something BJ (my wife) said when after we had accepted God’s call on our lives to be church planters.  She said that many other things will make themselves available to us that will seem much sweeter, but we need to stay the course and not veer from what God has put before us and what we have committed to.  Since then, only a few things have come our way that would be considered “sweet distractions”, but nothing that was hard to say “no” to.  However, last night I got a phone call during worship practice.  I recognized the area code as being in the Lakeland area and I figured it was Bruce calling to discuss the worship service I would be leading next weekend.  On my way home I called the number back, and was surprised to find out that it wasn’t Bruce.  It was the pastor at a church in Lakeland who had found my resume on churchstaffing.com and wanted to set-up an interview with me to be the pastor of worship arts.  Now, just a bit of history… back in January (about 6 months ago) I had felt God calling me out of student ministry and into worship arts.  I was unemployed at the time so I began the process of re-inventing myself.  I bought some home studio gear and began making demos and I even set up a makeshift photo shoot to make a simple portfolio for my resume and DVD.  I served for 3-4 months on the worship team at a church where I was also hoping to candidate for a position.  It didn’t work out, but I had gathered enough video and audio recordings of myself to put a digital resume together.  I sent out my resume to a number of churches and never even got a phone call or email back.  I was devastated.  It was during this time that God solidified that He was actually calling us into church planting.

            So, I have been unemployed for 7 months, looking for work (ANY work) and have been highly unsuccessful when I get this phone call.  Know what I said?  “Thanks, but no thanks.  God has called me to be a church planter.”  Can you believe that?  I’m not saying I would have gotten the job, but I turned it down without even thinking about it.  I was stunned.  I called BJ and told her.  I asked if I was crazy, and she said yes, but that was what we had been called to be: crazy church planters.  It was then that I realized I had a holy discontent within me, and not simply a hankering born out of desperation from unemployment. It was liberating.  I was totally sold-out to this calling and it manifested itself in my turning down an interview for a job for which I was highly qualified and in which I could be very “successful”.  Now I know many people will say I am crazy, and that this could have been God’s providence, but I don’t see it that way.  I see it as God’s test.  I trust in His calling, and if He has called me to church planting, then I must forsake all others for the sake of His glory and for the sake of His calling.  Thank you Lord for showing me your call and for the strength to pursue it.  Protect and keep me.  Surround me with your hope, support, and encouragement.  I can’t wait to see what happens next!

The Journey Begins

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

            Well, we had our first meeting of The Church Formerly Known As Church Of The Highlands -Four Corners (TCFKACOTH)… gotta get a better way to refer to it… At the time I didn’t think much about it because we were just a bunch of people hanging out getting to know each other, but it really was our first gathering as a new community of faith.  BJ and I were noticeably a bit self-conscious, but that went away pretty soon.  We met some really great people and saw how we could easily fit in this group and “do life” with them.  Every time we go to the Davenport area we seem to get more and more excited about moving up and being a part of what God is going to be doing there.  Jesse has done a great job of assembling a team of people who are sold-out and committed to God’s vision for the Four Corners area.  We have begun this church with more people “on staff” than most churches ever have.  The level of talent and creativity is already astonishing, and I can’t wait to see who else God is preparing. 

            I still haven’t found work, and I am getting quite frustrated.  I know God has called us to be there… I don’t doubt that… but I wish He would go ahead and show me what I am supposed to be doing and go ahead and provide a job.  Jesse talked with us briefly about his father’s air filter business, and it seems like a good idea.  I guess I just need some form of definitive answer from God about whether this is what I am supposed to pursue or not.  I think I could do it, and do a good job at it.  In fact, I could do it here in PSL before we moved up.  Speaking of moving up, we need to find a place to move to as well.  We thought about an apartment, but a house would really be more conducive to ministry.  We would of course be renting, but not having a job yet kinda puts a wrench in the gears since we don’t really know what we can afford.  There is one possibility that has made itself somewhat available…  We have a college student who was a part of our last ministry who has remained friends with BJ and me.  She usually house-sits for us and is our go-to baby-sitter.  She is moving to the Orlando area to attend UCF, and her housing situation seems to have fallen through.  BJ and I are thinking that she could live with us (rent a room) and that would allow for us to be able to afford a house that would be big enough to accommodate family and ministry.  We will be praying about whether or not that is a good idea and if so, then show us something!

            Jesse encouraged all of us to spend the next few months “falling in love” with Jesus.  I really need to get back my joy in Him.  I need to “taste and see” that He is good.  I’ve always known it, and I have never stopped loving Him, but I have seriously neglected our relationship.  I plan on reading through the book of John and then Acts and hopefully commenting on it as part of my journal.  I will also include thoughts from other books and conversations I will be having.  This is going to be an exciting, terrifying, interesting, and altogether difficult journey, but I know God has prepared us… so here we go!