Movin' On Up!

            Wow!  A lot has happened since my last entry.  I apologize for not keeping everything up to date, but my head has been spinning.  In fact, today's entry is going to be relatively short because we have a lot of work to do.  Ok, so here's the skinny:  We finally have a place to live and are moving up on the first.  BJ and I prayed for God to show us where to live and He did.  It is not the original place we were looking at.  I'm not even sure how we came about this place, but it is in the same neighborhood as Jesse (the pastor) and is owned by a very charismatic Caribbean named Emily who is a believer and carries her little white dog around with her.  She told me she bought the house to provide funding for building a church in Poinciana and prayed that it would be used to glorify God.  She also told me she had a couple from Ohio wanting to move into the house that were willing to pay more than us, but once she heard I was a pastor she told them ”no” and wanted us to move in.  We were very excited, but also a bit apprehensive because we still did not have all the money necessary to move in.  Last Tuesday I sent a letter out to about 13 different families that I know have always supported BJ and I asking them to consider giving us some support in our move.  We received two responses that have been very helpful in getting us moved up, and we are extremely thankful, but we are also a bit perplexed that we haven’t heard anything from the others.  I’m not real sure what to make of it, but I will commit it to prayer.  I have been doing a lot of praying lately… that’s a good thing.  Right now our prayer is that we will be able to get everything packed, moved, and paid for.  We also need to find additional jobs once we get up there, so please continue praying for us in these areas.

            As far as the church goes… we have a name!  The Roots Community.  It is a great name reflecting the needs of the culture in Davenport.  There are so many people living there whose roots are established elsewhere.  Our church will endeavor to create a community for people to be able to create new roots and a new life in Christ.  Jesse does a better job of explaining it because it is his vision.  I’m sure we will hear it plenty of times so I will be able to better describe it in the future.  Also, this Sunday we will be meeting in our new location at Four Corners Baptist.  This location will allow our worship team a better opportunity to develop into what God has for the church as well as provide a few more amenities for small groups and fellowship.  Things are looking up! 

            Lord, we beg of You to continue to keep our footing solid.  We are desperate for You always and know that without You we are devastated.  Thank You so very much for Your providence, grace, and mercy.  Shield and protect us from the Enemy as he is hard at work trying to discourage and prevent us from doing the work of the Gospel.  We have committed our lives into Your hands and look to You alone for guidance and wisdom.  May we always treasure You above all, and may You always be glorified in our delight of You.

Confessions of Myopia (or "How Could I Be So Blind?")

      “God is the wealthiest person in the universe.  He not only owns more than anyone else.  He owns everyone else and everything everyone else owns.  When you create something, it belongs to you.  And God created everything – including us.”  These were the first words I read this morning in John Piper’s Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ.  Upon reading them, I immediately became excited because I thought, “Oh boy!  I am about to be encouraged that all riches come from God and He is the provider of all my needs if I just wait on Him!”  Well, I forgot whom I was reading… Piper.  The chapter was actually on the wealth of the compassion and mercy of God.  It was all about how God’s wealth does not reside in all He owns, rather it is in who He is.  Piper made an interesting statement about how God’s wealth could not be measured by His creation alone because that would mean that His wealth was diminished pre-creation.  In other words, God’s wealth would be dependent upon us, His creation.  He went on to give example after example of the mercies Jesus exampled while on earth, mercies that were given solely out of compassion and not duty or compulsion.  Jesus’ miracles were all compassionate and merciful in nature; none were done as acts of entertainment.  You could argue against this with the walking-on-water and coins-in-the-fish’s-mouth type of miracles, as done more out of convenience for Jesus’ sake but look at the results of those miracles.  They helped strengthen and solidify faith… faith that is necessary for salvation.  Jesus could have simply appeared across the lake or reached in His tunic and pulled out money, or whispered a command to the wind and waves, but He didn’t.  He chose to show the power of the Father in Him in order to help feeble and sinful hearts and minds come to believing faith in Him.           

        While I was reading I became very convicted.  I have been so caught up in my situation that I have stopped focusing on the lost.  My prayers have been so saturated with pleas for my family and for the families of those ministering along with us that I have neglected prayers for those we were called to minister to.  Now there is nothing at all wrong with my prayers for support, providence, and rescue, but my heart and mind have been so captured by these things that I stopped thinking about those outside of my inner circle.  I call this condition Spiritual Myopia, and I usually attribute it to sectarian fundamentalist churches that become so nearsighted that they only look inward and not outward.  These churches become so caught up in making sure they take care of their “members” that they forget the mission to which all Christians have been called.  Now I haven’t forgotten my mission, but I feel like I have put that part of my prayer life on hold.  Many of you reading this may say that it is ok to be a bit inwardly focused right now because I am going through some tough times, and that I can re-focus once these issues are taken care of.  I rebuke you!  (Get thee behind me…)  That is not biblical; it is humanist.  Our Lord, on the brink of betrayal and calamity did not withdraw and become myopic.  No, instead He prayed for us (John 17).  He prayed for those who presently knew Him, and for those who would know Him in the future (vs. 20).

            Father, I am so ashamed that my focus has drifted from Your mission and purpose.  I know that I am not ignoring it, but things have been competing for my affection.  My fear and insecurity have caused me to cling to only part of Your character.  Please help me to continue to have a vision and compassion for the culture in which you have sent me.  Help me to pray for the lost.  Help me to pray for them to see the great riches of Your mercy, even as it is demonstrated in my life.  You are to be treasured above all things.  Without You we are devastated, and it is evil for me to keep that to myself.  Thank you so much for Your mercy!  I am destroyed without it, and I cling to it every day that I live.  I wait in anxious expectation for Your mercy and grace to continually manifest itself my life and I pray that it would flow from there into the lives of others.  

Hungry

         This past Sunday I was leading worship and one of the songs I had chosen for the day was “Hungry (Falling on My Knees)”. If you are not familiar with this song, the lyrics are : Hungry I come to You for I know You satisfy. I am empty, but I know Your love does not run dry. So I wait for You, So I wait for You. I’m falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus You’re all this heart is living for. Broken, I run to You for Your arms are open wide. I am weary, but I know Your touch restores my life. So I wait for You… and so on. The “theme” of the day was Spontaneous Brokenness, and I had chosen this song simply because it spoke of brokenness and humility (plus it’s a great song). As I was leading the song the pertinence of these words really struck home. I began wondering how it was affecting BJ and how I was going to hold it together through the song (I sometimes get weepy when I worship). I made it through the worship time ok, but the song stuck with me for the rest of the day. Later that day, as the leadership team for the Davenport plant (still no name) met, the topic of fasting came up. Now this was brought up a week ago, and it was put forth that we all should consider fasting because it would be a really good thing for all of us to do. A follow-up email suggested a specific day and time for us to do the collective fast. This struck me the wrong way because I never really saw fasting as a collective issue. I mean, it was done collectively in the Bible, but that was usually as a nation in repentance to the Lord or as an edict handed down from a king or prophet to a people to be a response to something. Now, I’m not saying I have a complete theology of fasting or anything… my understanding is very incomplete. I’ve never thought of fasting as a bad thing or as being fruitless, but the few times I had fasted… just left me hungry (physically, not spiritually). Looking back on these times of fasting, they were compulsory fasts and were done either out of a desire to get something (on my part) or to appease someone else’s definition of spirituality or holiness. These situations had caused me to become very guarded about people suggesting a fast. When the topic came back up at the meeting, I guess I felt like we were being corralled into a fasting pen and I wasn’t sure of what was going on or why it was happening… so I opened my mouth.
        I have the tendency to come across as overbearing, negative, and jerk-ish when I offer push-back. I don’t know why, but it always seems like people are taken back by what I have to say when I disagree. I know this about myself, and I try to rein it in, but I ultimately cannot control an individual’s perception. At the meeting I voiced my concerns and misgivings about the fasting issue, and then felt a great discomfort in the room. Great! I did it again. I was reassured by others that it was all good, but I know how I can come across. Anyway, from that moment on I felt as though God was working on my heart to help me better understand the issue of fasting. The words to that song kept coming to mind, “Hungry I come to You, for I know You satisfy…” Later that night Jesse asked me how I express desperation to God. The ways that I offered were good, but somehow seemed hollow to me. They rang in my ears like a clanging symbol, while the “Hungry” lyrics kept becoming clearer and clearer.
        The next day brought everything to a laser-like focus. We were out riding around looking at houses, and had the opportunity to get into one and check it out. The agent who showed it to us was very nice, and through our conversation I found out she was a fellow believer. I began to explain our situation and she seemed very excited about it. The house would be very good for us. It is close to Jesse and Anitra and it is in the same development as one of Andrew’s new friends, Alex. The carpet is all jacked-up and the appliances are old, but that’s minor compared to homelessness. In the end, we would still have to pay out more money than we have just to get into the house, but I felt very confident in the connection we had made with the agent. We left, went to a meeting with Art (our new “employer”) and then went back to the Carbo house to let the kids hang out while BJ and I went looking at other places to live. When we went out to the car to go house hunting we discovered our right front tire was flat. This stunk, but what made it worse was that the same thing had happened about a week ago with the back right tire. The valve stem had come loose from the tire wall and was leaking air. Upon inspection, it was beginning to happen in the other tires as well. Fortunately, the tires were still under warranty and Tire Kingdom would fix it for free. So I called Roadside Assistance (best 2.99 a month I’ve spent) and they arranged for a truck to pick up the Explorer and take it to the tire shop. One hour later the truck finally showed up and I was able to ride to the tire place with the tow-truck guy. Once there I waited… and waited. I guess non-paying customers get shuffled to the bottom of the deck. And hour and a half later I was driving back to pick up BJ and the kids so we could go home. We had not been able to look at any other places to live. We have 9 days until we move! I at first felt like this was Satan’s work, but upon further inspection, I have come to the conclusion that it is a sign from God. Yes, we were frustrated, but why? Because our plan did not work; because we had to wait; because we were inconvenienced… But we were not harmed by it. We did not have to pay a dime to have the car towed or repaired. “So I wait for You. So I wait for You…”
        So we are waiting on God to provide. I will contact the agent and get the ball rolling on the application, but I will also begin to appeal to her spiritual nature in Christ to help us out with deposits and fees. We feel that we need to take the leap and allow God to do what He promises to do: work it out for our good (Romans 8:28). Where does fasting come into play? We are desperate. We are falling on our knees, offering all of ourselves. We are hungry for God’s satisfying glory and power. We know that God will be glorified in our satisfaction of Him, so we place our satisfaction in Him. I am going to fast over this. I don’t know how long, but I actually feel prompted by God to be hungry for Him to provide. We are going to need anywhere from $2000 to $3000 to complete our move. We don’t have it, but we are going to wait on God to provide it. If you feel moved to help us, please respond and let me know. If you feel moved to join us in desperate prayer over this, please respond and let me know. If you want to say “I told you so!”, please keep it to yourself.
        Lord, you know our needs. There is never a time when you do not know what we need. When we pray to You it doesn’t come as a surprise. You lay on our hearts what we need to pray because You have the answer ready for us. Father we are hungry and thirsty for you. We are broken and desperate for your grace, mercy, and providence. You hold sway over all things and all people. Lord we pray for you to work this out for our good, not for our sake, but so that we will glorify You with our satisfaction and pleasure in You and Your providence.

La Muerte No Tiene Aguijon! (Ooo... Spanish!)

        I realize that my last entry was brief (for me), but sometimes it is difficult to put into words all the things floating around in my head. I am terribly excited about the prospects of my and BJ’s new job opportunity, and a bit nervous about the housing issue. We have to move by the end of the month (14 days!!!!!!) and really have no clue as to where we are going to be. Our dilemma is two-fold: money and location. We obviously need to be able to afford wherever we live, but not really knowing the regular cash flow of this new job (it is commission) it is difficult to budget and plan for affordable rent. Location plays a factor in that we really want to be near the current plant work while also being in a location that we may plant ourselves. Problem is, we still don’t know where that will be since we feel called to a unique marketplace-style ministry. It looks for now that renting a house is out of the picture due to the high deposit most houses require. After all is said and done, with first month’s rent, deposit, utilities deposits, and moving costs, we are looking at almost $3000 to move into a house… we don’t have that. Apartments and townhouses don’t require a large deposit and a number of utilities are included. Boring stuff, but it is what’s going on in my head. We are excited, though and feel we have a better picture now.
        This morning I read a really good chapter in Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. Piper was writing about Satan. I know! Piper, mister God-centered is writing about Satan? Well, it was more about the glory of Christ in not removing Satan, but allowing Him to remain in the picture. Sounds crazy huh? I mean if it were up to many of us we would want Old Red tossed in the lake of fire right now so we could have an easier life without all the confusion, affliction, and temptation. After all, wouldn’t people stand up and cheer if the enemy was vanquished in such a public and visible way? But would life be easier? After all, isn’t sin a part of our condition? Do we need Satan to tempt us in order for us to fall into sinful thoughts or actions? Now, I’m not one of those tambourine-shaking, banner waving charismaniacs who spend more time trying to find Satan than fulfilling the gospel, but I fully recognize the power and presence of Satan and his angels. So why not obliterate them altogether? Is it because Jesus is restrained from doing so? Not at all! Scripture is filled with examples of Jesus’ power over Satan and his demons. So what is it? Well, most people won’t like this… it is because Jesus is made greater with Satan in the world. Huh? Simply put, we appreciate the light more when it is contrasted with darkness. Oversimplification, I know, but close enough for you to get the gist of it. How about this: Jesus’ beauty and worth shines brighter when people renounce the allure and promises of Satan and take pleasure in the glories of Christ. Beauty shines brighter in the presence of lesser beauty; light seems lighter in the presence of darkness; goodness seems greater in the presence of evil; and truth seems glorious in the presence of falsehood.
I hear a lot of people (even preachers) talk about how they look forward to the day when Satan will be defeated. Hello! He HAS been defeated. Cast out? No. Defeated? Yes. How? Because Jesus took death away from him (Hebrews 2:14). Satan’s main weapons were guilt and condemnation. Jesus took these. Death has lost its sting! (1 Cor. 15:55-56) Without sin and law (Colossians 2) to condemn, accuse, and oppress us, Satan is defeated. Piper says, “He is disarmed. Christ has triumphed over him, not by putting him out of existence, but by letting him live and watch while millions of saints find forgiveness for their sins and turn their backs on Satan because of the greater glory of the grace of Christ.”
        Satan is not happy about what we are doing in the Four Corners area. We have essentially begun church without even “trying.” This past Sunday we had more visitors and are already running out of room. What was intended to be a study to unify our core group in vision and purpose has turned into a weekly worship gathering. Who knows what will happen this week. A number of people will be absent, but I feel our numbers will still be up. Not because of our efforts, but because of the work of the Holy Spirit. Satan is working hard to deliver messages of error to the hearts and minds of the saints, and messages of guilt and condemnation to the hearts and minds of those whom God is drawing to Himself. We must be diligent in prayer and in our desire to treasure Christ over all things. Lord help us defend against the enemy’s attacks by surrounding ourselves with truth, Your truth. Keep your vision always before us so we may never falter. Do not let us get distracted by enticing offers and semblances of simplicity and comfort. I pray we all hold fast to the task at hand and not let go in an effort to grasp something “better.” Keep us, Father and protect us from error and falsehood; and continue to draw your people to our midst so that we may show them the love and compassion that You have shown us.

Talking Cucumbers and Killer Cheese Doodles...

      Ok, so I asked God for clarity and He sends it through a cartoon. I wonder if that’s His way of showing me how simple things really are… “listen to the cartoon, dummy!” Today BJ and I did what we have done most Wednesdays this summer, took our kids to see the free movie playing at the local theater. This has been such a blessing since 1) we have no money, and 2) our kids get very bored and stir crazy. I can’t blame them, since I am the same way. Anyway, today’s movie was Veggie Tales’ “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” Normally I don’t go for the talking veggies because, well… I’m over it. I mean, they were cool and all, but my kids are older and we have just moved on. I won’t go through the story, but the coolest part was the killer cheese doodles… they were hilarious. Where clarity came was when the “king” was telling the pirates that he never promised their journey would be easy, and that they should always trust him because no matter how difficult things seem, he is always watching and always there to help when we really need it… after all, would he send them on a journey he didn’t think they could complete? Stupid cartoon movie… making sense.
        The past few weeks have been pretty crazy and it has been difficult to stay positive about things. I know we are not alone, as everyone involved with the plant has been having trouble with finances, housing, and employment. We all want to charge headlong into what God has for us, but we must contend with the issues of life that are either put there by the enemy to trip us up or that are meant to test our fortitude and commitment to our calling. The past week we have had both, and it seems God has brought us through and we have been able to maintain our focus and make wise decisions that are starting to show fruit. I have been presented with opportunities that may have been good financially (or not) but would have choked my time and ability to do the work of a church planter. It was tough to turn them down and remain faithful to the calling, but it looks as though God is honoring that decision by giving BJ and me a really unique job opportunity. Without going into details, we are going to be working for a ministry based out of Orlando that does live seminar training for parents and children’s ministries. We will basically be booking agents for the ministry and will have the ability to work at home and make our own schedule. Normally I wouldn’t even consider a job like this, but it was just very obvious to BJ and me that this opportunity was given to us at this time specifically for our situation.
     So, for now we are doing well, and the outlook is good. I plan on enjoying it while it lasts because I know every hill has a drop right after you get to the top. It’s late, so I will end for now and hopefully write more tomorrow.

Suffering For Jesus (or "Quit Crying and Get To Work!")

Ok, well it has been quite a while since my last entry. Our life has been very hectic as we have done way too much traveling. I am so ready to be moved, but it seems God has us here for a while longer… wish I knew why. We have had a lot of good conversations and contacts with other church planters and pastors in the area, so that is good. One in particular has offered to mention my and BJ’s name to a few people who are looking to fill jobs… I pray that something happens there. As I write this we have 20 days to be moved out of the house and moved up to Davenport. This is really scary, as we have absolutely no good leads on employment and housing. The housing would actually be easy if we had jobs. There are a lot of homes available for rent in the area; we just don’t know what we can afford. To make matters worse, I have been icky the past few days. I guess it is because of my fatigue. Whenever I get worn-down physically, my immune system becomes weakened and I am prone to icky-ness. I am also grinding my teeth at night… stress I guess; but it makes my jaws and teeth hurt which ends up amplifying my misery. All this coupled with a growing sense of dread, worry, and a depleting bank account and I am one miserable puppy. I don’t mean to complain and whine, but I am weak and weary and don’t know what else to do right now. I’m not the only one… I guess I can find comfort in that. Jesse has been dealing with a strange allergic rash for the past week. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense because it isn’t poison ivy or oak. It looks kinda like it, but instead of clustering and being localized it is scattered all over his body. He went to a free clinic while I was up there and they gave him some steroids to help the reaction stop, but I know it is baffling and discouraging to him. He too is struggling with financial issues. Jess and Anitra have done fundraising to support themselves during this process, but the money is coming in slowly and sporadically while the bills and expenses are frequent and right on time. All this sounds horrible, and very discouraging… and it is, but we remain somehow optimistic. Yeah, I am anxious and impatient, but I still know that God is sovereign in all of this, and through prayer (desperate prayer!) I have kept a “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
To be honest, through this trouble I feel even more confident that we are doing exactly what God has for us to do. Why? Because we are being afflicted by the enemy. Now I know some of you may be rolling your eyes, but physical and spiritual affliction is a very real and biblical thing. Paul told Timothy, and subsequently us, that we are to expect persecution if we persist in living out a godly life (2 Timothy 3:12). Satan is not happy at all when God’s people actually rise up and adopt a missional lifestyle. To be missional means to be “on mission” with Christ, to be a part of the missio dei (Mission of God). This sounds like a basic concept, but one that many churches have simply fallen away from by assuming that they are not missionaries themselves, but they are supporters of professional missionaries through giving and education. Now, I’m not saying I don’t want support from churches, but I don’t see myself as a professional missionary, just as a missionary like we all are called to be. Anyway, back to the affliction. It seems very apparent to me that Satan attacks those who are dangerously close to making true impact for the Kingdom of God. I heard a message from Louie Giglio about worship (one of many he has done) and in it he references the concept of a war being waged for our worship. He mentioned Job (of course) and how, like him, we are also placed in situations that compete for our worship. Sounds silly and a bit alarmist, but I can see this playing out in our lives. As I have begun this journey, I have grown in my affection for Christ and for others. I have begun to have clarity about the lost and the culture of the lost. Satan left me alone previously because I was content to wallow in pride, bitterness, and self-righteousness. I wasn’t worshipping God I was worshipping my misery. Now that I have turned my affections back towards Christ I have awakened (so to speak) the sleeping giant who is bent on the destruction of God’s Kingdom here on earth. It is very easy for me to ignore the goodness of God in the face of adversity. Now I am not saying that everything I am having trouble with right now is from Satan. I truly believe God is delaying his providence in an effort to grow and teach me. It is in this situation, though that Satan works his deceit. He speaks untruth to me, and creates a weariness and crankiness that spills over into my relationships. He has begun to speak into the minds of others involved in the church in an effort to drive a wedge between us and disrupt the work of the Kingdom. He is dangling carrots in front of us to distract us from the task at hand. We can easily be distracted because Satan knows the deep desires and longings of our flesh, and he can have them masquerade as goodness. These are the sufferings that we are enduring and we are enduring them in an effort to share in the sufferings of Christ just as we will share in His glory (Romans 8).
This morning I read about the suffering of Christ, and how His suffering brought Him glory. Jesus suffered unjustly. He alone did not deserve the treatment he underwent. He was sinless, and without blame (1 Peter 2:22) but for the glory set before Him endured the suffering for the atonement of us all (Hebrews 12:2). Some people call the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ a form of “divine child abuse” because no parent who loves their child would ever sacrifice them so horribly. These people do not understand the glory of Jesus’ incomparable suffering, and that the Bible tells us that “it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief” (Isaiah 53:10) and because of this “many will be accounted as righteous” (Isaiah 53:11). How glorious and wonderful to know that Jesus, the one least deserving of suffering, endured the greatest amount of suffering in an effort to fulfill the righteous requirement of all humans to be called children of God. It is because of this that I can endure the sufferings set before me. It is because of this that I can go quietly into the night knowing that darkness and uncertainty is not something to be feared, but something that has already been conquered. Thank you, Lord for your clarity and peace in this!

Confessions of Spiritual Bigotry

     I faced some of my demons this Sunday. Now before you break out your tambourine, let me explain. As mentioned in my last entry I am still working through issues created by my termination 7 months ago. To be honest, these issues go farther back than the incident, but were brought to surface when it all hit the fan. Some of the demons mentioned were anger, resentment, bitterness, etc., but what I didn’t mention was my fear and insecurity. At a risk of sounding like a charismaniac, I admit that a great insecurity has created a stronghold on my life… the insecurity of fundamentalism. Recently I had a dream about me having a violent confrontation with an individual who was not at the center of my termination, but certainly fanned the flame of legalism that ultimately consumed the church’s leadership. He tried to physically harm me, and when I attempted to flee I couldn’t because he was standing on my feet. I was able to avoid a fistfight (this guy is big and scary), but I spent the rest of the dream trying to convince him that he was wrong and that he was causing all sorts of pain and trouble for my family and for other families in the church. The dream ended with him seeming to listen but ultimately not wavering from his stance. My dream-whispering wife told me that the dream represented my fear and insecurity concerning the situation and my ongoing personal battle with fundamentalism. She’s sharp… one of the many reasons I love her. She said that I feel paralyzed by what happened and that no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to break away from it or reason with it.
     I took what she said and pondered it for a while. She was right. I can go toe-to-toe with atheists, agnostics, naturalists, and liberals without even breaking a sweat (not that I’m one of those militant, in-your-face, let’s fight types), but the mere thought of confrontation with fundamentalists makes me sick to my stomach. I guess I have lived under the oppression of hyper-morality and legalistic spiritualism that I am like an adult victim of child abuse. I have spiritual post-traumatic stress disorder (SPTSD?). Guilt has been such an aspect of my spiritual journey that it is hard to shake. Now, I’m not saying that we should not feel a sense of guilt over our sin. That is natural and necessary for conviction and repentance. What I am talking about is this sense of shame that embodies much of fundamental thought due to the bad theology of “morality equals redemption.”
     Ok, well I’m sure you may be wondering how I faced my demons. I was asked to lead worship this past Sunday at a church in Sebring, FL. Sebring is literally in the middle of nowhere. Draw a line down the middle of the Florida peninsula and in that blank spot just above Lake Okeechobee you will find a small dot called Sebring. It is industrial, and there is plenty of stuff there like a mall, restaurants and even Starbucks, but it just sort of rises up out of the land and then disappears just as quickly. The church was a plant started by a great guy named Bruce and it was in it’s own building which it apparently shared with a Hispanic church. The week I was to be there was one of their Café Highlands weeks. This was a time when a guest came in and shared a testimony or special in music, or whatever. Since I could do both, it was going to be the Kevin Hendrix hour with me doing songs and weaving the story of my journey through the mix. Great idea. Just my type of thing. When we arrived in town Saturday, I told BJ that I had a feeling that we were going to be the oddballs the next morning… just a hunch. Well, I was right. Apparently the majority of the congregation was out of town, and of those that were left, 90% carried an AARP card. Please don’t think I have anything against older generations… I don’t. I am just realistic about my glaring differences with older generations when it comes to doctrine, theology, church polity, and levels of appropriateness. This isn’t a wholesale difference, but I was raised in the south and anytime I see a church populated with mostly people who are 50+ I automatically assume they have strong fundamental roots (which typically means they also have the baggage that comes with it). Well, my palms started sweating and my gut started churning and I got gas. I always get gas when I am nervous, which makes me even more nervous about being up in front of people. Without going into details, I was able to make it through the “service” and things went really well. I felt I related very well to the audience and they seemed to not only enjoy what I sang and said, but many were moved to walk up to BJ and I and slip us some money. What a relief! One, it was over; Two, they actually liked and accepted me.
     So I faced my demons, and even though they were winning at the start, Christ’s Spirit within me took over and beat away the fear and doubt. “For [we] did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but [we] have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15, plurality mine). Lord please help me to defeat this sinful fear and prejudice that I hold. Father Your truth alone is sufficient for the correction of false thinking. Help me to see my fundamental brothers and sisters as family, even if they remove themselves from me and the world. You alone are my source of hope and righteousness. You keep me, and mold me into the man I am. Help me to not be bitter, vengeful, or unaccommodating. Develop a sense of compassion for my legalistic brothers and sisters. I want to minister to them, not be repugnant to them. As we continue this journey in church planting, Lord help BJ and I partner with all ages and all people who call you “Father” and not just the ones that make us comfortable. We are your servants, not our own. Thank you so much for showing me this and growing me a little more each day.