Dead Men and Wine

I woke up this morning with the intent to sit down and write something inspiring… but I just don’t have it in me. Ever feel that way? Like your desire doesn’t quite match up with your present ability? Now I’m not talking about desiring to be a basketball star but being stuck with a 5’9” frame. I mean a desire that is within the grasp of your normal aptitude, but for some reason eludes your faculties. Perhaps I should simply start with what I read. Piper wrote about an experience he and his family had in Florida enduring a hurricane. He described the intense ferocity of the storm, and made a statement about how when facing the wind and the waves, you can either curse or worship. He then went on to talk about Job and a number of others in the Bible who chose to worship God rather than curse Him. His ultimate point was that we were to worship Jesus because of His worth of our worship, and not spend our time criticizing His methods of making His worth manifest. I can honestly say that I get where he is coming from. Through everything that has happened to us, I never doubted God’s power or providence, but I definitely questioned His method and timing… sort of like Lazarus’ mourners. “If you had only come sooner, Jesus.” Of course what was Jesus’ reaction? “I am glad I was not there so that you may believe.” (John 11:15) Seems a bit callous for Jesus to have allowed Mary, Martha, and everyone else go through the pain of experiencing the sickness and death of Lazarus simply so Jesus could make people believe. After all, wouldn’t they have believed if He had simply healed Lazarus? Yes, but to the extent that they believed after Jesus raised him from the dead? Of course not.
I am still in the process of exorcising the demons of my situation. There is still anger, bitterness, resentment, and confusion that it seems will take a while to overcome. I never shook my fist at God, but there were times when I didn’t worship Him either. I know things happened the way they did in order for God’s glory to be made great, but it is hard to see it sometimes. I can see where the situation has taken BJ and me, but what about everyone else involved? The church is a mess. How is God glorified in that? Families have fallen to shambles because parents became so weary from fighting each other that they stopped parenting their children. How is God glorified in that? Wicked, pharisaical mindsets have become cemented in the hearts of leadership causing them to feel vindicated in “purging” the church to make it what they want it to be. How is God glorified in that? The pastor left and now lives a life completely sheltered from his calling. How is God glorified in that? The one remaining staff is over-worked, under-paid, and in fear of his future in ministry. Where is the glory in that? I don’t know, but it must be there. Why? Because God doesn’t do or allow anything by accident.
I was reading in John this morning about Jesus’ first miracle. I’ve read this a number of times, but something struck me this time more than others: Jesus seems to have been prodded into this. Now, take what I just said about God not doing anything by accident and I may have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. Jesus seems to have had no intention of making wine that day. He was simply hanging out at the party having a good time when his mom came to him and told him about the wine situation. His response? “What are you telling me for? This isn’t my gig.” Like any good mother, she ignores his protests and tells the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do. So there’s Jesus standing at the party, Holy Grail in his hand, with a group of servants staring at him waiting for orders. You can almost hear the needle scratch across the record as the disciples and others around Jesus are waiting to see what he’s going to do. Now we don’t know how things transpired. This could have been a private, pull-aside conversation. Either way, it seems Jesus’ will is changed by the will of his mother. Does this mean God’s will can be changed? Not exactly. What we are seeing here is the Incarnation of God… the God-man. Jesus, being human, is subject to obedience to the Father and His Law. The fifth commandment that God gave all of humanity was to honor your father and mother. It may not have been Jesus’ intent when He went to the party to make a hundred gallons of wine, but it wasn’t against his will either. He simply was obeying his mother, who imperfectly chose to command her son’s abilities.
I’m not real sure where I am going with all of this, but I believe it shows us a bit of the character of God. Yes, everything has purpose. God does everything to further His glory; things that seem trivial, things that seem horrible, and things that seem lovely and beautiful. It is easy to accept the trivial and the beautiful, but not the horrible. Lord, help me as I continue to grow in your grace and in the knowledge of your great sovereignty over all things. Help me to not accept the sins of man, but to accept the situations they create as being tools in accomplishing Your plan for us. Your glory endures forever, despite us. I don’t want to be a “despite.” I want to be a “result of.” Help me to move past my bitterness and anger to a place of broken compassion. Continue to reveal Your heart to me, and shape me into the man You have for me to be.