This morning as I sit in front of my laptop writing this, I am bathed in Beatles music. The twenty-something behind the counter at the coffee bar is going through YouTube videos of the Fab Four, which are consequently piped through the sound system. “Hey Jude” is reverberating through the small shop as the young man sits, leaned-in to the computer screen, taking the images and sounds in as though he can somehow absorb their musical greatness.
This is worship. He is worshipping Paul, John, George, and Ringo. I’m sure he doesn’t subscribe to some strange Beatles cult, nor would he say John or Paul were gods, but he is participating in worship… he is doing everything possible to see, savor, and get caught up in experiencing the musical genius of the group from Liverpool. He wants to get as close tothem as possible; experience their passion; brush up against their creativity; and sit at the feet of their musical greatness in hopes of becoming like them somehow. To be honest, I am rather enjoying it. It’s been a while since I’ve really listened to the Beatles. They were true innovators…
I read John Piper this morning and he “spoke” about what he usually does… the glory of God in Christ. It was very interesting to be reading what he had to say in juxtaposition to the experience going on around me (Beatles worship). Piper wrote about the vastness of the universe and how it declared the glory of God, and how our vast insignificance in the universe declared the glory of Christ. How Christ’s sacrifice and love for such insignificance signals how great and glorious and worthy of worth He really is. I am, of course, over-simplifying things, but the idea is still there of Jesus forsaking His apparent glory to take on an image of insignificance which would ultimately lead to a much greater glory than we could ever perceive. After reading Piper, I read the first 18 verses of the Gospel of John. I’ve read and heard this passage numerous times, but somehow this morning it hit me in another way. In the surroundings of Beatles worship, with John Piper’s words rattling around in my head, I read the following words:
“The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”
…His own people did not receive Him. Man, I’ve been guilty of this. Now, I know John was speaking about the people of Israel and their rejection of Him, but I see how even those who are “children of God” sometime choose not to receive the love and joy Jesus has given us. I know I exchange the glory of Christ for the glory of other things… sex, comfort, technology, acceptance, etc. Why do I do this? Why am I like the dude behind the coffee bar staring into a screen of moving images hoping to brush up against greatness when the very creator of greatness is living within me? Perhaps I am afraid of the glory of Christ. Perhaps it seems like too much for me to handle… like I will be crushed under its weight. Maybe I know the glory of Christ is like the clearest of mirrors that will not only show my reflection, but will also illuminate my wickedness. There we have it. My sinful, natural self is striving against my spiritual, regenerated self (Romans 7:21-23). I replace the glory of Christ because I am embarrassed of who I truly am. Lord, help me to worship only You and not my self-image. Help me to rest in your completion and not strive for acceptance from anyone except You. Help me to savor your presence like the guy at the coffee shop savors the Beatles. No, I want to love You more than that. I don’t want to worship You from afar. I want to be immersed in Your greatness…
Last night as I was traveling to and from worship practice I listened to a message given by Bill Hybels to a group of church planters. He spoke of church planting being the result of a holy discontent and not merely a “hankering” for something different. He said that a hankering for church planting would cause you to leave when things get tough. It will cause you to seek something better or more secure when you are in the midst of insecurity. We give up on our hankerings. If we have a holy discontent, then it burns like a fire and we will not give up until it is satisfied. This discontent is not a petty unhappiness with church, but rather dissatisfaction with doing anything with your life other than pursuing the call of church planting. It is a refusal to be content with simply “doing” church, and a desire to “be” the church to a lost, dying, and fragmented world. Bill Hybels spoke of how he left a multi-million dollar career because of his holy discontent, and how he often thought about that, as he was knee-deep in the harshness and thankless-ness of ministry; but he never considered going back. I thought about that as I listened to him and I remembered something BJ (my wife) said when after we had accepted God’s call on our lives to be church planters. She said that many other things will make themselves available to us that will seem much sweeter, but we need to stay the course and not veer from what God has put before us and what we have committed to. Since then, only a few things have come our way that would be considered “sweet distractions”, but nothing that was hard to say “no” to. However, last night I got a phone call during worship practice. I recognized the area code as being in the Lakeland area and I figured it was Bruce calling to discuss the worship service I would be leading next weekend. On my way home I called the number back, and was surprised to find out that it wasn’t Bruce. It was the pastor at a church in Lakeland who had found my resume on churchstaffing.com and wanted to set-up an interview with me to be the pastor of worship arts. Now, just a bit of history… back in January (about 6 months ago) I had felt God calling me out of student ministry and into worship arts. I was unemployed at the time so I began the process of re-inventing myself. I bought some home studio gear and began making demos and I even set up a makeshift photo shoot to make a simple portfolio for my resume and DVD. I served for 3-4 months on the worship team at a church where I was also hoping to candidate for a position. It didn’t work out, but I had gathered enough video and audio recordings of myself to put a digital resume together. I sent out my resume to a number of churches and never even got a phone call or email back. I was devastated. It was during this time that God solidified that He was actually calling us into church planting.
So, I have been unemployed for 7 months, looking for work (ANY work) and have been highly unsuccessful when I get this phone call. Know what I said? “Thanks, but no thanks. God has called me to be a church planter.” Can you believe that? I’m not saying I would have gotten the job, but I turned it down without even thinking about it. I was stunned. I called BJ and told her. I asked if I was crazy, and she said yes, but that was what we had been called to be: crazy church planters. It was then that I realized I had a holy discontent within me, and not simply a hankering born out of desperation from unemployment. It was liberating. I was totally sold-out to this calling and it manifested itself in my turning down an interview for a job for which I was highly qualified and in which I could be very “successful”. Now I know many people will say I am crazy, and that this could have been God’s providence, but I don’t see it that way. I see it as God’s test. I trust in His calling, and if He has called me to church planting, then I must forsake all others for the sake of His glory and for the sake of His calling. Thank you Lord for showing me your call and for the strength to pursue it. Protect and keep me. Surround me with your hope, support, and encouragement. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
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