Suffering For Jesus (or "Quit Crying and Get To Work!")

Ok, well it has been quite a while since my last entry. Our life has been very hectic as we have done way too much traveling. I am so ready to be moved, but it seems God has us here for a while longer… wish I knew why. We have had a lot of good conversations and contacts with other church planters and pastors in the area, so that is good. One in particular has offered to mention my and BJ’s name to a few people who are looking to fill jobs… I pray that something happens there. As I write this we have 20 days to be moved out of the house and moved up to Davenport. This is really scary, as we have absolutely no good leads on employment and housing. The housing would actually be easy if we had jobs. There are a lot of homes available for rent in the area; we just don’t know what we can afford. To make matters worse, I have been icky the past few days. I guess it is because of my fatigue. Whenever I get worn-down physically, my immune system becomes weakened and I am prone to icky-ness. I am also grinding my teeth at night… stress I guess; but it makes my jaws and teeth hurt which ends up amplifying my misery. All this coupled with a growing sense of dread, worry, and a depleting bank account and I am one miserable puppy. I don’t mean to complain and whine, but I am weak and weary and don’t know what else to do right now. I’m not the only one… I guess I can find comfort in that. Jesse has been dealing with a strange allergic rash for the past week. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense because it isn’t poison ivy or oak. It looks kinda like it, but instead of clustering and being localized it is scattered all over his body. He went to a free clinic while I was up there and they gave him some steroids to help the reaction stop, but I know it is baffling and discouraging to him. He too is struggling with financial issues. Jess and Anitra have done fundraising to support themselves during this process, but the money is coming in slowly and sporadically while the bills and expenses are frequent and right on time. All this sounds horrible, and very discouraging… and it is, but we remain somehow optimistic. Yeah, I am anxious and impatient, but I still know that God is sovereign in all of this, and through prayer (desperate prayer!) I have kept a “peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).
To be honest, through this trouble I feel even more confident that we are doing exactly what God has for us to do. Why? Because we are being afflicted by the enemy. Now I know some of you may be rolling your eyes, but physical and spiritual affliction is a very real and biblical thing. Paul told Timothy, and subsequently us, that we are to expect persecution if we persist in living out a godly life (2 Timothy 3:12). Satan is not happy at all when God’s people actually rise up and adopt a missional lifestyle. To be missional means to be “on mission” with Christ, to be a part of the missio dei (Mission of God). This sounds like a basic concept, but one that many churches have simply fallen away from by assuming that they are not missionaries themselves, but they are supporters of professional missionaries through giving and education. Now, I’m not saying I don’t want support from churches, but I don’t see myself as a professional missionary, just as a missionary like we all are called to be. Anyway, back to the affliction. It seems very apparent to me that Satan attacks those who are dangerously close to making true impact for the Kingdom of God. I heard a message from Louie Giglio about worship (one of many he has done) and in it he references the concept of a war being waged for our worship. He mentioned Job (of course) and how, like him, we are also placed in situations that compete for our worship. Sounds silly and a bit alarmist, but I can see this playing out in our lives. As I have begun this journey, I have grown in my affection for Christ and for others. I have begun to have clarity about the lost and the culture of the lost. Satan left me alone previously because I was content to wallow in pride, bitterness, and self-righteousness. I wasn’t worshipping God I was worshipping my misery. Now that I have turned my affections back towards Christ I have awakened (so to speak) the sleeping giant who is bent on the destruction of God’s Kingdom here on earth. It is very easy for me to ignore the goodness of God in the face of adversity. Now I am not saying that everything I am having trouble with right now is from Satan. I truly believe God is delaying his providence in an effort to grow and teach me. It is in this situation, though that Satan works his deceit. He speaks untruth to me, and creates a weariness and crankiness that spills over into my relationships. He has begun to speak into the minds of others involved in the church in an effort to drive a wedge between us and disrupt the work of the Kingdom. He is dangling carrots in front of us to distract us from the task at hand. We can easily be distracted because Satan knows the deep desires and longings of our flesh, and he can have them masquerade as goodness. These are the sufferings that we are enduring and we are enduring them in an effort to share in the sufferings of Christ just as we will share in His glory (Romans 8).
This morning I read about the suffering of Christ, and how His suffering brought Him glory. Jesus suffered unjustly. He alone did not deserve the treatment he underwent. He was sinless, and without blame (1 Peter 2:22) but for the glory set before Him endured the suffering for the atonement of us all (Hebrews 12:2). Some people call the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus Christ a form of “divine child abuse” because no parent who loves their child would ever sacrifice them so horribly. These people do not understand the glory of Jesus’ incomparable suffering, and that the Bible tells us that “it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief” (Isaiah 53:10) and because of this “many will be accounted as righteous” (Isaiah 53:11). How glorious and wonderful to know that Jesus, the one least deserving of suffering, endured the greatest amount of suffering in an effort to fulfill the righteous requirement of all humans to be called children of God. It is because of this that I can endure the sufferings set before me. It is because of this that I can go quietly into the night knowing that darkness and uncertainty is not something to be feared, but something that has already been conquered. Thank you, Lord for your clarity and peace in this!